Under the Bridge
by SongsofPsyche1945
Summary: Kilian Oakenshield is an aspiring musician in San Francisco until one day he saves a blonde haired man from jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. Who is this man? And why cant Kili stop thinking about him? Fili/Kili SLASH, Modern AU.
1. Chapter 1

Killian Oakenshield shivered slightly as the mist from the ocean drifted across his face. He peered past the mist at the orange bridge before him and once again cursed himself for not being able to afford a car, or an apartment in the city. He lived in a houseboat with three other people in Marin and worked at a restaurant right in the heart of San Francisco. The bike and the crappy living sitch were essential to him though, as every cent he made waiting tables went straight into his Demo Savings Box.

Kili was a musician, or at least he was trying to be one. It wasn't that easy though as he was broke as dirt and he had no family to support him—or at least no family that was willing to support him. Kili's father had fought hard to get him into Stanford, and Kili had repaid him by getting arrested the first week of the semester. He hadn't been doing anything bad, mind you, he just got caught with a fake ID trying to get into a bar so he could listen to this band. Long story short, the school kicked him out and his father cut him off.

Kili right then and there decided to drop his father's dreams of him being a lawyer and purse his own dream of becoming a world famous musician.

Bilbo Baggins was the owner of the restaurant that Kili worked at, and he was a true blessing for Kili. When he found out that Kili wanted to make and sell a demo, he didn't belittle Kili with depressing facts about how few musicians actually make it. He insisted on enrolling Kili in the local community college so he could study the music business. They had struck a pretty sweet deal; Kili would work double shifts during the day and weekends, and would go to classes at night—which was a huge sacrifice on Bilbo's part as dinner was the most popular meal for the restaurant.

So that's where Kili found himself now, riding in the misty rain over an orange bridge with his apron tied around his waist because some jerk had stolen his basket and his guitar strapped to his backpack, along with his books and pencils for his night class. He squinted though the mist and the lights of the oncoming traffic. For some reason, pedestrians and bicycles weren't allowed on the other side of the bride, the one that faced the ocean which meant that he was riding into oncoming traffic—both cars and pedestrians.

"At least you don't have to pay the $7 bridge toll." Kili murmured to himself as his eyes blinked away the ink spots that were created by some jerks high beams.

"5:45 is way to early for anyone decent to be awake," he continued to mutter to himself as he pulled his beany down over his dark brown short cropped hair. Then suddenly, a flash of red caught his eye. Kili stopped dead in his tracks, he jumped off his bike and walked it over to the railing. He blinked a few times, did really just see what he thought he saw? Did he really just see someone in a red jacket hop over the railing? He looked around him; there were no other pedestrians, just grumpy commuters on their way to work in their cars. Cautiously, Kili peered over the railing and felt his heart sink at what he saw: a boy—man—maybe his age, maybe a few years older was standing underneath the railing. One hand was linked to the bars as he leaned forward and stared down at the dark waters. His blonde wavy hair was being pushed and pulled from his ponytail and despite the heavy jacket Kili could see that the man was shaking. Kili wondered vaguely what this man was doing, and several ideas popped into his head; he was a photographer, a bridge architect, a water scientist, he was doing yoga, he was doing par-core, he was meditating, he was sleepwalking.

And then it hit him like a ton of bricks.

This man was going to jump.

And Kili was the only one there to stop him.

Kili bounced on the balls of his feet. Feeling panic fill his chest.

"Hey! Hey you!" he shouted

The man didn't respond.

"Hey! HEY!" Kili shouted even louder, and this time he banged his hand on the metal railing.

The man looked up at him, and Kili had to force himself not to flinch at the shattered soul that started back at him with deep blue eyes. Their eyes met, and Kili saw pain, and sadness but he also saw fear and helplessness.

"You don't want to do this." Kili said

The man shook his head.

"Please. Don't do this." Kili said

The man just stared at him.

Kili stared back.

Then Kili did something that was both very brave and stupidly idiotic; he climbed up over the railing and joined the man standing on the platform.

Kili felt his heart pounding as he tried not to think about how one small mistake could lead to him falling hundreds of feet below and dying a terribly cold and watery death. Instead, he focused on the blonde in front of him.

The blonde man was staring at him. One hand was till on the railing bar, and he was no longer leaning out to look at the water.

Kili took a step forward, and in turn, the blonde took a step backwards, shying away from him.

"Hey, hey it's okay." Kili said, taking another step.

The blonde stepped backwards again, and Kili saw that his hands were shaking.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I want to help you. Please." Kili said, and he extended an arm towards the man.

The blonde flinched away from him and shook his head. Kili saw tears starting to form and fall onto his cheeks. The man shook his head again, and then he sunk down against the wall, pulling his feet into his chest and grabbing his long hair with his hands.

Kili took another step forward, somewhat relieved that this man was not in the jumping position anymore. Curling up against the wall and going fetal seemed easier to deal with than just about to jump at any second. At least, to Kili it seemed easier. He had no idea if he was helping or making it worse.

Kili quickly took out his phone and dialed 911—something he should have done the moment he saw the jumper. As he spoke with the operator, he watched the blonde shake and shiver in the cold. He seemed to be less preoccupied with jumping the closer Kili got to him. Kili inched forward, and when he was about a foot away from the man, he too sank down to the ground and sat.

Kili hung up with the operator—officers should arrive within 15 minutes—and stared out into the mist. Sitting down was a lot less scary than standing up. He could no longer see the dark water beneath him and he found that somewhat comforting.

Kili scooted a few inches closer to the man, and gently touched his shoulder. The blonde flinched away from him like he had been burned and sent Kili a fiery glare.

"It's okay. Sorry, no touching. Okay. I understand. You will be okay. It's gonna be okay." Kili said

The blonde stared at him with a blank look.

"Can you understand me?" Kili asked

Another stare, this time followed by a small shake of his head.

"You don't understand?"

Another shake.

"Uhhh, habla espanol?" Kili asked

Another shake.

"I only know English, and that was just about all the Spanish I know."

Another shake, and this time followed by the blonde tapping his ears and shaking his head. Kili then realized that this man couldn't hear; he was deaf.

Kili didn't know any sign language—expect for how to say fuck you, which definitely wouldn't help him in this situation at all.

He slowly turned over his bag and reached for his notebook, hoping the blonde could read English. He took out a sharpie and wrote, "It's going to be okay" and showed it to him.

The man read it, and gave him such an incredulous look that Kili almost laughed. Kili shook his head, and wrote:

"Sorry. That was dumb. We can talk. Let's get off this bridge."

He showed the blonde, who just shook his head. He looked out over the water and Kili saw his face crumble with emotion. Kili felt his chest buzz with panic. Where were the police?

"Please, don't cry. Let me help you." Kili said out loud, once again scooting forward towards the man, who once again leaned away from him.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Kili said

Then he took the sharpie and wrote, "I wont hurt you. Let me help you. Please."

The blonde shook his head.

Kili sighed. This wasn't going anywhere. He had already texted Bilbo about what was happening, so he didn't have any pressure to speed things up expect the fact that they were both freezing.

Kili wrote, "Please don't do this. Let me help you. You don't have to do this."

The blonde then motioned for the notebook and pen. Kili gave it to him hoping beyond hope that he was finally getting through to him.

With a shaking hand, the man wrote: "Yes I do. There's no escape."

He showed it to Kili and Kili felt his eyes well up.

"There is always a way out." Kili said, talking slow enough so the man could understand him. Movement from above caught his eye, and he looked up. There were policemen and firefighters looking down at them, watching silently as one of them adjust a belt and caribiner. The one of the officers motioned for Kili to keep talking to the blonde, to keep him preoccupied so he wouldn't panic when the fireman pulled him up back over the railing. Kili nodded his head.

He motioned for the notebook, and the blonde gave it to him.

Kili wrote, "There is always hope."

He gave the notebook back, and watched as the blonde read it. He looked up at him and shook his head, tears falling from his eyes.

Kili saw the fireman being lowered over the railing out of the corner of his eye.

"This is always hope." He repeated, taping his lips so the blonde would see that he was talking. The blonde clutched the notebook with shaking hands, and was about to write something else when the fireman grabbed his shoulders. He let out a yell of surprise, but the fireman was stronger than he was and within a matter of seconds was able to pull him up and over the railing, onto the floor of the bridge.

Kili stood up with shaky legs and accepted the hand up from one of the other officers who were on the scene. Silently he watched the blonde as he struggled against the paramedics, his cries sounding more like an animal than a man as they strapped him down in a gurney with strong restraints.

Their eyes met one last time before the ambulance doors shut, and then he was gone.

One of the officers patted his shoulder, "you did the right thing." He said and Kili could tell he was just as shook up as he was.

Kili then realized that he didn't even get the blonde's name before they took him away, and that this man with blue eyes and blonde hair still had his notebook.

888

This is my first time writing a Hobbit AU. Please leave me a review and tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

"So tell me again, then what happened after you sat down." Ori's young face was so eager and hopeful that Kili couldn't even feel annoyed that this was the millionth time Ori had asked him about the blonde jumper.

They were on their break at the restaurant, smoking vapes in the back alley and chatting—like the usually did at 11:30am every morning. It had been two weeks since Kili had saved the blonde man on the bridge.

Two weeks of absolute chaos.

There was always a lot of press coverage, when someone was saved from jumping. Since the bridge was constructed in the 1930s, over one thousand men and women have jumped to their death off the Golden Gate Bridge. The press didn't cover most stories—suicide was not good for image keeping—but rare success stories of people being rescued from suicide were. Heavily.

People needed to a story that gave them hope that there were still good people in this world

The articles mostly cast Kili in a good light, and Kili was happy to answer reporter's questions and comments. He had been deemed a hero, and for the first time in a very long time, Kili felt good with himself. Even though he was now commuting to work via the Ferry that went from Sausalito to Pier 39. It was horrendous; the ferry took him to the Pier, and then a bus took him as far as the ferry building. Then he walked two blocks and took the Embaracdero Bart to the Civic Center, where he walked the five blocks to the restaurant. It was a hassle, but Kili couldn't bring himself to go over the bridge anymore, even though it cut almost an hour off of his daily commute to the restaurant and back.

The press had also put the restaurant he worked at, Baggins Diner in the spotlight. Business was booming, and Bilbo couldn't be happier with him. He even offered to offset Kili's commuting expense as he knew the commute was expensive. Bilbo even framed the article they wrote about Kili being a hero and hung it by the cash register. Kili was grateful for this, but a part of him couldn't help but feel sad, because while he was here feeling like a hero, somewhere the blonde man was sitting in a darkened hospital room berating himself for not jumping sooner (or at least, that's what Kili thought. He honestly had no idea what happened to someone after they were rescued from suicide). A little part of him had hoped that the press coverage—which gave his name and where he worked—would prompt the blonde to seek him out but it had been almost two weeks since the incident and Kili hadn't heard a word from him. He didn't even know his name! The look that the blonde gave him, after they had strapped him into the gurney and stuck him in the ambulance haunted his dreams almost every night though.

"And how was his hair? Was it blowing in the wind? I'm a sucker for blonde hair." Ori asked, pulling Kili out of his thoughts.

"I-Ori! I don't know. I wasn't paying attention that much I think….I think it must have been in a bun but it was so windy I really couldn't tell. It was a nice though, I've always had a soft spot for buns " Kili answered, slightly bemused by his coworker's question.

To be honest though, Kili _had_ thought this stranger was quite handsome and if the circumstances had been different he would have flirted with him. Just a little bit. Sometimes he had daydreams where he and the blonde had met on the bridge, as pedestrians; the blonde would be taking pictures of Alcatraz, or sketching the city skyline, and Kili would somehow manage to fall off of his bicycle right as he passed by him. The blonde would smile and help him up, and as they gazed into each other's eyes for the first time they would fall madly in love with each other, and live happily ever after.

Kili had always known who he was, and had accepted himself for it. The fact that he liked men wasn't exactly a secret at the restaurant. One of the perks of living in San Francisco was that the LGBT community was quite large, and also quite accepting of new comers. Bilbo's cousin Dwalin, who worked at the restaurant as their accountant had just gotten married to the love of his life; a handsome fellow named Balin. Kili had started working there a week after the wedding, but he had heard so much about it, it was like he had attended. Kili hadn't met any one yet, since moving to the city. Sometimes after work he and Ori would hit the clubs, and he flirted quite a lot but since he lived on a boat with four other people and hour and a half away, it was hard to bring men home with him.

"Oh my god. You like this guy, don't you?" Ori asked, blowing smoke in his face and grinning like a wild man.

Kili shrugged.

"I don't know, Ori. It's complicated; he was about to jump, to end his own life. He wasn't just sad, it was like….i don't know….. Besides, I don't even know his name, let alone where he lives." He answered, looking up at his friend.

"I'm sure he's grateful for what you did. You were very brave, Kili." Ori added, patting him on the shoulder.

"I could never get myself to even go on that bridge. It gives me the heebie jeebies." Ori added, shaking his head.

Ori was a San Francisco native. He had grown up with stories of people jumping from that bridge, had seen countless documentaries about it, and had read about it in the papers. To him, the Golden Gate was both a blessing and a curse to the city; more suicides were happening each year. He truly hoped that one day the city would build a suicide net.

Kili had grown up in Wyoming, on his father's farm. He had never seen San Francisco, let alone the Golden Gate Bridge before he had moved out to the Bay Area to go to Stanford. At first he had been amazed by it's serene a beauty but after what happened though, the bridge no longer filled him with wonder and content. Now, it was a symbol of hopelessness, a place where people went to die.

But it was also where he met the man with the blonde hair, and Kili could not get him out of his head.

Kili sighed, "Yeah. I hope he is. You knowI have no idea who he is, or how's he doing now."

Ori patted his shoulder again, "I know how you feel. I'm sure he's just fine. Come on, let's get back inside before Bilbo catches us with these things." He said, quickly putting the vape back into his pocket. Bilbo—bless his heart-was a kind soul, but he absolutely hated vapers, he said that they were unnatural and that if you were going to smoke you might as well go all the way with it. He had a small stash of Brandybuck's Finest Medical Pipeweed hidden in the cash box and was known as a very generous man.

Ori rushed a head of Kili, grabbing his apron off the shelf and straightening his hair in the mirror. He turned and smiled at Kili.

"Right. Off into the shark infested waters. Let's hope they tip well today." He said, and with a salute he excited out the swinging doors and into the heart of the restaurant.

Kili quickly paused to adjust his hair in the mirror—no matter how much he cut and styled it, it never seemed to sit straight nor was he able to control the frizz. He put on his black apron, straightened his collar and then quickly checked the charts—Ori had a photographic memory, but Kili was always forgetting which tables he was supposed to serve. He quickly read—tables 1,4 and 9—and then followed his coworker's footsteps out the swinging doors.

A hand suddenly reached out and clutched his arm with a vicelike grip, stopping him in his tracks.

"Ori….what are you doing?" Kili asked, surprised. He looked at Ori's face, who had gone pale but there was a ghost of a smile on his lips.

Kili followed Ori's gaze to table five and felt his mouth drop open; there, sitting in the chair was a man with blonde hair pulled into a messy bun. Even though his face was obstructed by the menu he was studying, Kili recognized him at once.

Kili nodded his head and answered Ori's silent question.

"Yes, that's him."

888

Thank you for all the follows, favorites and reviews! this is my first time writing a slash AU fic and I am SO nervous about posting. I hope you liked it! I'm writing as I go, but I hope this will turn into a nice 10+ chapter story. Please stay tuned!

(And a shout out to all the Bay Area writers, woot woot!)


	3. Chapter 3

Kili stared at table five, where the blonde sat and studied the menu. He felt his heart flutter with nerves and anticipation. He had come? The Blonde was here? In the restaurant? How? Why? Should he go over to him? Did he see him? What should he say?

Ori gave him a small shove, "I'll cover your tables for you. Go. Talk to him."

"But Ori-."

"Go! You'll regret it if you don't."

Ori gave him another small push and reluctantly Kili walked forward towards the blonde. He couldn't help but notice how the blonde's hair stuck out in it's messy bun, or how the blonde's dark green jacket complimented the golden tones in his hair.

The blonde looked up from the menu when Kili approach and gave him a shy smile, not quite looking him in the eye.

"Hi" Kili said, and he gave him a small wave.

The blonde nodded and then motioned with his hand to the chair across from him. His gestures were small and timid, and Kili did not miss the slight shake in the blonde's fingers as he motioned for Kili to sit with him.

Kili sat down, and looked at the blonde. He wanted to make sure he gave him time to speak without feeling any pressure.

The blonde motioned for him to hold on for a moment, and then reached into his bag and pulled out Kili's notebook. It was crumbled and disheveled beyond repair, but Kili was still glad to see it.

He smiled and nodded, "Thank you."

The blonde motioned for him to hold on, and then he pulled out a notepad, and a new notebook. On the notepad, he had written a message:

"I'm sorry I ruined your notebook, I know it's not much but I'd thought I'd replace it for you."

Kili read it as the blonde slid both notebooks across the table to him. He bit his lip, looking nervous and Kili couldn't help but notice that his hands were once again shaking. Kili saw that the blonde still had hospital bracelets attached to both wrists.

Kili nodded his head, and then motioned for the notepad and pen. The blonde handed both over to him.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it." Kili paused, and then wrote on the line underneath;

"I'm so glad to see you."

He handed it back over to the blonde, who read it and nodded. Then the blonde wrote:

"I also wanted to thank you for helping me."

He handed it over to Kili, who took it and nodded.

"You're welcome, I'm glad you are okay." Kili said out

loud and then instantly berated himself for forgetting that the blonde was deaf. He motioned for the notepad and wrote:

"You're welcome. I'm glad you're okay."

He paused for a moment, and then wrote;

"What's your name? I'm Kilian Oakenshield-Kili."

He slid the notepad over, and watched the blonde read it. He saw only a ghost of a smile before it faded, and the blonde started writing. When he was done, he past over the pad to Kili.

Kili read;

"I haven't been deaf for too long—six weeks maybe-I was in an accident. Thank you for being accommodating.

My name is Phillip Durin, but everyone calls me Fili."

Kili stared at the notepad. Durin? As in Thorin Durin- the hottest tech guru in Silicon Valley? Thorin's company, Erebor Tech had created the social networking site Crow Space—almost everyone in the city had a profile with them. Kili had no idea that Thorin had a son.

Phillip—Fili—must have noticed Kili's awe for he turned bright red and nodded his head. He pointed to himself with his thumb, as if to say _Yup, that's me. I'm Thorin Durin's son._

Kili tried not to stare as a billion questions ran through his head: What caused him to loose his hearing? Was that why he wanted to end his life? Did Thorin know? Why wasn't this covered in the press? Surely people would have recognized him?

He felt like answering any of these questions though would be too overwhelming for Fili, so instead he wrote:

"It's nice to meet you, Fili. I am so glad you stopped by. How did you find me?"

Kili slide the notepad back, hoping that the answer wasn't "I saw your picture in the paper". As much as Kili had enjoyed being called a hero, he didn't want Fili to think that he has used the incident on the bridge to gain fame.

Fili read the note, nodded his head and then motioned for the notebook—the one Kili had used to speak with him on the bridge. He flipped the notebook to the inside of the front cover and pointed to a sentence written in bold black sharpie:

"Property of Bilbo Baggins."

And then below to another sentence that read:

"Don't even think about stealing this notebook. This means you, KILI."

And then to another sentence that had the address of the restaurant on it.

Kili felt himself blush. He was always stealing Bilbo's notebooks—the man was an avid writer and had notebooks laying around everywhere. Kili mostly needed them for class, but he also used them for songwriting. This particular notebook was for his Music Business 101 class, but he rarely took notes. Instead he spent his time doodling and writing down lyrics in the margins.

Fili tapped on second sentence, and for this first time since Kili met him he smiled.

Kili laughed, and then motioned for the notepad.

"Bilbo gets defensive about his notebooks, but he has like a million of them laying all over the floor upstairs. He's a bit of a hoarder. I didn't think he would miss one or two…or five."

Fili read, smiled and shook his head. He seemed more comfortable now than before, his hands weren't shaking anymore. A gust of wind blew through the restaurant from the opened door and it flipped the crumpled notebook pages, and Kili saw the scribbled blue sharpie messages from the day of the bridge.

Fili reached out, stopping the pages from being blown and he traced the line Kili had written _there is always hope_ with his finger. Kili knew that Fili hadn't just come here to return his notebook, he had come to talk—write—about what happened on the bridge. Or atleast, he wanted to but he wasn't sure how.

Kili reached for the notepad, but then he realized he had no idea what to say. He had never done this before, and he was sure that anything he said next _I'm glad you didn't jump, I was worried about you, why would you want to end your life? Everything is going to turn out okay, just hang in there etc_ either sounded condescending or cliché.

So instead he wrote, "I've been thinking about you these past few weeks. Are you doing better?"

Fili read the message, and then shook his head. He reached for the notepad and wrote;

"Things have been crazy at home, my father doesn't understand what I did or why I did it."

He paused, and then wrote:

"I was invisible, and you were the first person to see me in months. My mother used to tell me the same thing, to never give up hope, before she died. Thank you, for seeing me and for helping me."

Kili read, and nodded his head. He could tell this was hard for Fili to write about. He took the pen and wrote:

"I'm here for you, you can always talk to me."

Fili read it and nodded. Kili was surprised to see that his eyes were glassy. He suddenly felt like their meeting was not going well. He didn't want to make Fili upset, he wanted to make him feel better.

Tentatively, Kili reached forward slowly and put his hand on top of Fili's.

Fili looked up at him, and Kili smiled slightly.

"There is always hope." He said out loud.

Fili smiled and nodded his head. He tapped his lips, and then wrote with his free hand;

"I think I'm getting better at reading lips."

Kili smiled, then-

"So, what can I get for you two lovebirds? Some Mimosas? Bloody Mary's? Or coffee? Or hot chocolate? Or cake? We have excellent cake!" Ori's voice made Kili jump, and he let go on Fili's hand.

"Ori! You scared me." He said, sending the younger man a death glare.

"Oh no. You were having a moment and I ruined it, didn't I?" Ori asked, pouting.

"We'll start with some waters." Kili said, giving Ori his best "we'll talk about it late" look.

He turned back to Fili, and was surprised to see that the blonde was packing up his things. Fili paused, and then wrote on the notepad;

"I have to go. My father expects me home before 4:30."

Kili checked his watch, it was quarter to 4:00. He looked up at Fili and nodded.

"Okay." He said, feeling disappointed that Fili had to leave so soon.

"Wait—" he held up his hand and then wrote on the notepad:

"I'd like to see you again. Can I have a number? Or an email?"

Fili looked at the message and smiled, then took the pen and wrote:

phillipjdurin17

He tore the page off and handed it to Kili.

Kili nodded, and gave Fili a smile.

"Thanks. And thanks for the notebook, and thank you for coming in. It was good to see you."

Fili gave him a blank look, and shook his head—indicating that he didn't understand.

"Oh. Sorry. I forgot." Kili said quickly, and he wrote what he said down on the notepad.

Fili read it and nodded, and then motioned towards the door where a black car was waiting for him. He stood up and rearranged his bag over his shoulder.

He gave Kili a small wave, and Kili returned it. Then without thinking he reached over to give the blonde a hug.

He could feel Fili flinch, and go stiff under his arms, but Fili returned the hug and then quickly stepped away from him.

He gave one final wave of goodbye, and then hurried out of the shop right as Ori came back with their waters.

Kili watched him go, feeling sad that he had to leave.

"Aww he left already? I was just getting to know him."

Kili nodded, "He'll be back. I know he will. Hey, can I borrow your computer to send an email?"

"Sure…I guess. Did he give you-ahhh he gave you his email? Oh my god that is so great. Here, go email him right now. I'll finish things up here for you." Ori said, jumping up and down excitedly.

Kili couldn't help but smile at Ori's enthusiasm.

"Thanks Ori."

And then he walked towards the back of the shop, the piece of paper Fili gave him in hand.

888

Thanks for reading! Just a though-I like to draw, but I am not good at drawing people. Would anyone like to help me illustrate this story? It would be so great to be able to visualize modern Fili and Kili. Let me know!


	4. Chapter 4

Kili and Ori were sitting in Bilbo's office drinking coffee and eating some stolen French fries from the restaurant below.

Ori picked up on the of thousands of notebooks laying around, opening it up and laugh.

"What?" Kili asked

"This means you, Kili…how does he always know?"

"Sometimes I think he's a wizard." Kili answered, rolling his eyes. He turned his attention back towards Ori's Macbook Air, which was sitting on the desk. Kili had just opened skype and was preparing to talk to Fili. They had exchanged skype IDs over email, since it was easier to instant message than trade emails back and forth.

"So, he can only be on the computer for like, an hour a day?" Ori asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Yeah. I guess so. His father seems to be pretty strict." Kili answered

"I never would have thought Thorin Durin would be a strict father. He's always so easy going when he's on TV." Ori commented.

"I know, right?" Kili answered, and then he felt his heart leap as he saw PhillipJDurin pop online.

"Oh my god he's online. He's online!" Kili shouted, standing up and pointed.

"Well, duh. He said he would be online at 3:30, and it's…..3:31. He's a minute late. Tut tut." Orli answered, laughing.

"Should I text first or wait for him?" Kili asked

"Just say hello. Stop being such a wimp."

"I cant….you do it."

"No you doofus-."

They were both cut off by a bleep.

PhillipJDurin: Hello Kili.

Kili smiled, and then typed back a reply:

Kili_Oakenshield92: Hi Fili! How's it going?

PhillipJDurin: I'm fine. How are you?

"Is he always so formal?" Ori asked over Kili's shoulder.

Kili shrugged, "I guess so, he wrote like this yesterday too. I dunno maybe that's just how he writes." Kili answered.

Then he wrote:

Kili_Oakenshield92: I'd like to see you again

PhillipJDurin: Me too.

"Oh my god. Ori. He wants to see me too. Wait…do you think he likes me?" Kili asked, looking at his friend.

Ori smiled, "You're a charmer, Killian Oakenshield. Anyone would want you."

"I'm gonna ask him out."

"Good luck."

Kili_Oakenshield92: Would you like to do something together?

PhillipJDurin: That would be great.

Kili felt his heart pounding. Fili really wanted to see him again. He wanted to see him!

Kili_Oakenshield92: Can you meet me tonight?

PhillipJDurin: I need to check with my father. Hold on, I'll be right back.

"What's he saying?" Ori asked

"He says he needs to check with his father."

"Oh"

Then they both waited. Finally, after 15 minutes or so, Kili heard another beep.

PhillipJDurin: I can meet tonight at 6:00, but I have to be home by 10:30. Is that okay?

Kili_Oakenshield92: That's great! What should we do tonight?

PhillipJDurin: We can go to the movies, if you'd like.

"Wait….he says he wants to go to the movies." Kili asked, looking up at Ori.

"What about his hearing? Wouldn't that be weird?" Ori asked

"H e was the one that suggested it."

"Ask him if it's okay. It's always better to be honest and ask about these things instead of not and making it awkward." Ori answered.

Kili nodded his head, and wrote:

Kili_Oakenshield92: You sure, what about hearing it?

PhillipJDurin: My father's never understood why I still watch them, but I think the best movies are the ones where you can understand them without sound. It's all about the visual.

Kili_Oakenshield92: So you like movies?

PhillipJDurin: I did…I mean, I still do. I wanted to major in film studies, but my father wouldn't let me.

"What's he saying now?"

Kili felt breath on his neck.

"Orlando Brown, if you don't leave me alone this very instant I will…..I will tell Bilbo you were the one who's been stealing his notebooks!" Kili shouted, and then he playfully threw a pen at Ori.

And then another one.

"Fine. Fine. I'll let you two lovebirds be. Come fine me when you're done." Ori huffed, and then he exited the room and headed downstairs.

Kili turned back to the keyboard.

Kili_Oakenshield92: What are you studying now?

PhillipJDurin: Nothing. I was going to the University of SF before the accident, but then I had to drop out.

Kili_Oakenshield92: What were you studying there?

PhillipJDurin: Education, I figured I could always teach film studies to students.

Kili_Oakenshield92: Are you going to go back?

PhillipJDurin: I don't know.

What movie do you want to see?

Kili_Oakenshield92: Let's see….there's a theater close to the restaurant that's playing classics tonight, but there's also a Century 12 about 15 mins away.

PhillipJDurin: Either is okay with me. What classics are showing?

Kili_Oakenshield92: Let's see…. the Wizard of Oz and Singin' in the Rain.

PhillipJDurin: Both are on my top ten J

I haven't seen Wizard of Oz in a while.

Kili_Oakenshield92: Let's see that one! It starts at 7:10.

PhillipJDurin: Great!

Kili_Oakenshield92: I'll meet you here at the restaurant, maybe around 7:00 and we can walk over?

PhillipJDurin: Sounds good to me. I'll see you then.

Kili_Oakenshield92: I am looking forward to it.

PhillipJDurin: Me too. Hey, I gotta go, but I will see you tonight.

Kili_Oakenshield92: Ok, I'll see you tonight.

PhillipJDurin: Bye.

Kili_Oakenshield92: See ya.

Then PhillipJDurin went offline. Kili stared at the greyed out name. Why was Fili's father so strict? With the exception of the incident on the bridge, Fili seemed like a pretty stand up guy; he was well dressed, and thoroughly educated. There seemed no reason for such harsh parental restrictions. But then again, Kili hardly know the Durin family and he had no idea what was going on behind closed doors. Thorin Durin always seemed like such a cool, laid back guy whenever he was in the paper or on TV. But then again, Kili had no idea that Thorin Durin had a son until he met Fili. He wondered why they had kept it so quiet.

Kili was about to do a google search when he heard Bilbo calling for him to get ready for the early dinner shift. Quickly, Kili logged off of skype and stood up.

He smiled as he rushed downstairs to help Bilbo, and he knew that he had an exciting night ahead of him.

888

Please read and review!


	5. Chapter 5

"Isn't that Fili's car? He's a little early, isn't he?" Ori asked, looking through the window.

Kili check his watch, it was only 6:30.

"Yeah. We were supposed to meet at seven" Kili answered, and he walked over to wear Ori was standing and he looked outside.

Like the day before, Fili arrived in a black sudan that pulled up in front of the restaurant. He was wearing black jeans, and olive green button up shirt and a brown coat. He also had a brown knitted scarf around his neck—it was always chilly in San Fran. His hair was still in a bun, slightly less messy than before. A few curly strands fell, framing his face nicely. Kili watched through the window and tried to contain his excitement, but then his heart sank as he saw that Fili was not alone. Another man, a tall dark hair man with striking features also stepped out of the car. He was wearing a black suit, with a white button up shirt. He had short-cropped hair and a sharp, angular face, and he seemed a bit stiff. He motioned for Fili to lead the way into the restaurant, and they both started walking.

"Is that who I think it is?" Bilbo asked, coming up to stand next to Kili.

Kili nodded his head, "Yup. Yup. That's Thorin Durin."

"Oh my. First celebrity appearance this week! I guess he wanted to meet you?"

"Maybe, I don't know-."

Kili was interrupted by the restaurant door opening, and both Fili and Thorin Durin walked inside.

Bilbo greeted them warmly, walking up and shaking hands with both. Kili noticed that his hand lingered extra long on Thorin's.

"Welcome! Welcome to my restaurant! I am Bilbo Baggins, owner and executive chef. It's really wonderful to see you, Mr. Durin. Come, come have a seat. I get us water and coffee and cake! We have excellent-."

"Just water will be fine. Mr. Baggins. I won't be here long. I just wanted to get a chance to know the man who saved my son."

Thorin said, speaking in a deep baritone voice.

Bilbo in turn, turned a bright shade of red.

"Yes. Yes of course. Here he is. This is Kilian—Kili. Let's all go sit here."

He motioned for them to sit down at a table.

Kili extended his hand and smiled, hoping that he looked okay. He was wearing dark blue jeans, a stripped black shirt, and a black jacket.

"It's wonderful to meet you, Mr. Durin." Kili said, extended his hand.

Thorin took it briefly, and then let go.

"Sit, sit everyone. This is my associate Ori. Welcome, welcome!"

Bilbo said, in an attempt to break the tense silence.

The five of them sat down. Kili noticed that Thorin was in no way trying to keep Fili in the loop of the conversation—he just kind of stood there, trying to follow. Kili wanted to go up to him, but he was slightly scared of Thorin.

So they sat.

"So Kili, what do you do for a living?" Thorin asked, as Bilbo brought over waters.

"Well….I'm a waiter right now, but I want to be a musician. I'm also-." Kili started.

"A musician? Isn't that a hard field to break into?" Thorin interrupted.

"Yeah but-."

"And it doesn't exactly pay the bills, does it?" Thorin asked

"I don't know. I'm also studying-."

"What university do you go to?" Thorin interrupted, again.

"Golden Gate College."

"Isn't that a community college?"

"It is, but—."

"Do you plan to transfer?"

"I don't know."

"Hmmmm." Thorin mumbled, and then picked up his glass of water. Kili could feel himself panicking. This was not going well for them.

There was an awkward pause where they all took a long sip of water at the same time.

Then Thorin stood up.

"Kilian. Can I speak to you in private, please." He said.

Then he started walking away from the table. Kili exchanged a worried glance with Bilbo before following the dark haired man.

Thorin was waiting for him in the wine cellar that connected to the main part of the restaurant. Kili noticed that despite his stern features, he also looked quite sad.

He waited until Kili was standing next to him, and then in a whispered voice he started speaking:

"First, I want to thank you for what you did for Phillip, and I appreciate your efforts to be friends with him but, I also wanted to disclose something to you before you start-do-anything; Fili had a friend-ah- partner- before the accident and-well….to make a matters short, there was violence and we had to get a restraining order against him. Fili is very fragile right now- I just don't-I want you to be careful. He cannot get hurt again. Understand?"

Kili nodded his head, "I understand."

"I don't think you do. Can you imagine what it was like for me to get a call while I was in the middle of a press conference from the hospital saying that my son had tried to commit suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge? That I had to leave said press conference and fly all the way home to find my son in the hospital in the isolation ward, with restraints on his wrists and ankles like some _criminal_. I want to make it clear to you that this cannot happen again, under no circumstances. I already lost his mother, I cannot loose him too."

Kili nodded his head again, "I understand, _sir._ Look, we're just going to the movies-."

"Swear to me that you won't hurt him?"

"What? Of course I wont hurt him. He's my friend. I-."

"Good. I just wanted to make that clear, Kilian."

Despite the ferocity radiating from his eyes, Kili could tell Thorin was uncomfortable being around him, and that he also seemed a little lost. Like he had no idea what he was doing.

He looked over at Fili, who was siting at the table and exchanging notes with Ori. Fili was smiling, but Kili also saw a tremble in his hands as he wrote. What had happened to him? Who was this partner that was violent?

Thorin-Mr. Durin-gave Kili a forced smile.

"The car will meet you here at 10:30. Do not be late."

Kili nodded his head, "We wont, sir."

"Good."

Then Thorin started walking back towards the table. Kili lingered behind, suddenly feeling shy of the Durin family. Thorin was a little intense, but he would try to not let it affect his friendship with Fili. To be honest, he was a little upset that Thorin had told him. Shouldn't it be up to Fili? What if Fili didn't want him to know? Was Thorin only telling him this because he thought Fili couldn't?

He watched as Thorin waved his hand dramatically in front of Fili's face and said very slowly, " I. am. Going. Now. Have Fun. See. You. At. 10:30."

Fili in turn just nodded his head.

Thorin gave an awkward bow wave to Bilbo and Ori, and then walked out of the restaurant and got back into the black sudan.

Kili walked over to Fili, who was writing something on his notepad. He passed it over to Kili.

It read:

"I'm sorry about my father. He can be a little intense sometimes."

Kili responded:

'"Don't worry about it. My father is like that too. He means well though."

Fili read the note, and then nodded his head.

Kili smiled, "You ready?"

Another nod.

"Alright. Let's go."

Kili motioned towards the door, and open it for Fili.

Fili nodded thanks, and they both walked towards the theater, excited and nervous for the evening to come.

888

So I wrote this chapter last night after waaaayyyyyy to many shots of whiskey, and this morning I found some amusing typos that I'd like to share: Thorin was waiting for him in the wine cellar that connected to the main part of the restaurant. Kili noticed that despite his stern features, he also looked quite sasquatch. He was wearing a black suit, with a white button up shirt. He had short cropped hair and a shark face, and he seemed a bit stiff. Kili could feel himself pickles. This was not going well for them. DO NOT WRITE AND DRINK! 


	6. Chapter 6

They were slightly early for the 7:10pm showing of Wizard of Oz, so they took their time meandering down the street.

Fili pulled out his notepad, and wrote while he walked.

He passed it over to Kili, and Kili rread:

 _"_ _What did my father say to you? You looked stressed when you both came back out to us."_

Kili look up at Fili, and wondered if he should tell him. And then he realized that he ever wanted this relationship to move forward, he was going to have to be genuine and honest.

Kili wrote:

 _"_ _He wanted to thank me for what happened on the bridge and then he warned me that you have been hurt before, and made me promise that I wouldn't hurt you."_

Fili read, and the stopped in his tracks. Quick he scribbled:

 _"_ _He told you about Ryan?"_

Kili shook his head, sensing panic rising from the blonde. He wrote on the pad:

 _"_ _No no. He didn't tell me any details—not even a name. He just warned me, that's all. He didn't scare me though, I'm not going anywhere."_

Fili read it and looked up at him, and Kili saw the now familiar shake in his hands.

Then he wrote:

 _"_ _You don't have to tell me anything until you are ready to."_

Fili nodded his head, and made the hand motion for OK. He then gestured for them to keep walking.

Kili bought the tickets for them, and lead the way inside. The theater was an old art deco building that had been converted into a theater during the 1970's. There was a concession stand selling wine, beer and popcorn. It was crowded with people, but not overwhelming. The two of the walked by the stand and into the darkened theater, Fili wobbled a little in the darkness and Kili steadied him with his hand. After a moment, Fili nodded his head and kept walking.

They found their seats in the middle row. It was too dark to pass notes, so they waited in silence for the movie to start.

Kili's mind was spinning; Fili had a partner that they had to get a restraining order against. What had happened? Was that why Fili wanted to jump? When had it happened? And what was this accident that they kept talking about? He wanted to ask Fili, but he also didn't want to scare him away. He finally decided that if Fili wanted to talk to him about it, he would listen and be there for him.

The theater darkened, and Kili felt the thrill he always felt when he was about the watch a movie at the theater. As the movie started, Kili couldn't help but catch glances of Fili as he watched the movie. Kili noticed that Fili had these tendrils of curls that fell from his messy bun that framed his face, concealing part of it in the darkness. Kili didn't know which was more fascinated: watching the movie or watching Fili.

As Dorothy started singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", Kili heard a distinctive sniff. He looked over and saw that there were tears rolling down Fili's face. He ducked his head, trying to conceal them with his hair. Slowly, Kili took his hand and put it on top of Fili's hand, which was on the arm rest. He squeezed it gently and was surprised when Fili squeezed back.

They sat hand in hand for the rest of the movie, and Kili couldn't stop smiling.

And also worrying.

If Fili had been in a bad relationship before, he would probably want to take things slow. He had been in an accident that had caused his to loose his hearing. Things had somehow gotten so out of control for him that he had thought there was no way out. What happened? And then there was his father. Kili had never been so scared of another man in his life. Even when his own father was kicking him out of the house, he wasn't that scared. Kili honestly had no idea what to do, all he knew was that he wanted whatever this was between them to keep going. He knew Fili had his demons—they all did-but he also knew that demons could be conquered.

When the movie was over, Fili continued to hold Kili's hand as they walked outside the movie theater into the brisk city night.

"Did you like it?" he asked, looking at Fili.

Fili nodded his head, and gave a shy smile.

"Are you hungry?"

He motioned for the notepad _, "Sure! Do we have time?"_

Kili nodded his head and wrote _"About an hour. You know, you can speak to me, I won't mind how your voice sounds."_

Fili looked up at him, and shook his head shyly.

 _"_ _That's okay. I know a good place that's not too far—Bard's Diner. Do you want to go?"_

Fili read and nodded.

Kili smiled, "Great!

The restaurant was a buffet style diner that had booths with just about every cuisine imaginable—Italian, Chinese, Greek, pizza, soup and a huge ice cream bar.

After Kili paid and got them their plates, he took out the notepad again.

 _"_ _I usually go straight for the ice cream booth."_

Fili smiled, and then motioned for him to lead the way.

After they had gotten their ice cream and had sat down, Kili pulled out a notebook. Before the date, he and Ori had talked a long time about how he was going to chat with Fili without making his feel uncomfortable. They both knew that he hadn't been deaf for too long, so reading lips didn't always work. So they decided just to go with old-fashioned note writing. It seemed to be Fili's preference of communicating.

Kili wrote on the notepad, and then passed it over to Fili.

 **What was your favorite subject in school?**

Fili read it, raised his eyes and smiled as if to say _we're really doing this?_

Kili nodded, and then motioned with his hand for him to write his answer.

 _English. I was the only kid in my class who was excited to read the To Kill a Mockingbird. What about you, what was your favorite subject?_

 **Music class. In Wisconsin we had this great band teacher. He taught me almost everything I know.**

 _What instruments do you play?_

 **Piano and guitar. That's why I'm here in the city, actually. I'm saving up enough money to make my own demo.**

 _How long have you been playing?_

 **I started piano lessons when I was five years old. Guitar when I was seven. I haven't been able to put them down since. What about you?**

 _I used to play the violin, before the accident. What's your favorite book?_

 **Don't judge, but I love Game of Thrones.**

 _I started reading the first one a few weeks ago. No spoilers!_

 **I promise I wont say anything until you finish the first book. Who do you like best so far?**

 _So far I like Dany the best. She totally has to adapt to this completely foreign culture, and instead of melting into the background she takes a stand and becomes a true Khaleesi._

 _I wish I could be more like her._

 **To be unmeltable?**

 _She follows her heart, even when those around her are telling her she's wrong._

 **She's a pretty good character to want to be like-wait until the later books and then tell me what you think.**

 _I'll let you know. So, where do you live? Above the restaurant with Bilbo?_

 **I wish I did, but it's just a studio up there and Bilbo gets a little defensive about his space. I live in a houseboat at the Marin Marina.**

Like Ann Lamott?

 **Who?**

 _She's a writer. She lived in a houseboat for some time in Marin. I think she has since moved though. She wrote Bird by Bird and Operating Instructions._

 **I'll have to check her out, that's so cool. Where do you live?**

 _I used to live in the dorms at USF but after the accident I moved in with my father. He has a house in Palo Alto, but I prefer the one that's here in the Garden District._

Kili nodded. Thorin Durin was listed as one of the most wealthy people under thirty in Times Magazine. The Garden District was a fancy, upscale neighborhood near Golden Gate Park

Underneath, Fili had added;

 _He's not home a lot of the time._

Kili looked up and nodded his head, and then he wrote:

 **Hey, can I ask you something—you don't have to answer if you don't want to.**

 _Okay._

 **Who is Ryan?**

 _That's a complicated question._

 **You don't have to answer.**

There was a long pause, and Kili could tell Fili was mulling things over in his head, until finally he wrote down four words that made Kili's heart sink:

 _He would hurt me._

Kili looked up from the paper and reached to grab Fili's hand. The blonde let him, but Kili did not miss the unintentional flinch when their skin made contact. Then Kili let go and he wrote:

 **I'm so sorry that happened to you. He had no right to hurt you.**

 _I know._

 **But you're safe now.**

Fili stared at the paper, then he wrote

 _It's part of the reason I wanted to jump._

There was a pause, as Fili flipped the notebook around and wrote another sentence.

 _I'm glad I didn't, because then I would never have met you._

Kili smiled, "I'm glad too."

Fili nodded.

By then, they had finished their ice cream and were one of the last few people in the restaurant.

Then Kili had an idea, he wrote;

 **I have something to show you at the restaurant. Want to head back?**

Fili nodded his head, and they booth stood up. Fili reached out and tentaivly touched Kili's shoulder and smiled.

Kili returned the smile, and then they both started heading back towards Bilbo's restaurant.

888

This is also posted on Ao3, but I thought I would update it on here too.


	7. Chapter 7

Kili opened up the doors to the restaurant—Bilbo had gone out with and Ori. He smiled shyly at Fili as he led him through the restaurant to the back dining room where Bilbo's prized possession sat—his grand piano. Kili let out a little laugh as he saw that someone—probably Ori—had left out wine glasses and a bottle of Merlot, he even uncorked it for them (Kili had an irrational fear of corks).

Kili walked over to the piano and bottle, and then pointed to the wine.

"Would you like some?" he asked, pointing with his hands.

Fili walked over, writing on the notepad. He passed it over and Kili read:

 _I've never had it before._

Kili looked up at him. He never had wine before? What? Fili must have noticed his confusion, for he wrote another sentence and showed it to Kili:

 _My father never let me have any, he was strict even before the accident. I wasn't even allowed to celebrate my 21_ _st_ _birthday._

Kili read it, and nodded his head, then he wrote

 _We'll have to celebrate then. Would you like to try?_

Fili looked up at him shyly and nodded his head. Kili smiled, and then poured them both glasses of the merlot. He held up his glass for a toast;

"To a perfect night." He said and then he took a sip. He watched as Fili sipped his first glass of wine, and then nodded his approval.

"You like it?" Kili asked

Fili nodded again and smiled.

Kili then pointed to the piano bench. He stepped over to it and pulled it out, motioning for Fili to sit next to him. He put his wine glass aside and put his fingers on the keys. He played a few notes, and then paused as Fili sat down next to him.

Kili wrote, _this is why I work here. Bilbo let's me play before we open and after we close._

Fili read the note, nodded his head and put his hand up on the piano, and Kili realized that he could feel the vibrations of the music.

"Watch." Kili said, and then he played the opening notes to one of his latest songs. He watched as Fili watched his hands move across the keyboard.

Fili lifted his hand, and then wrote on the pad:

 _I can feel the vibrations, it's beautiful._

Kili smiled at him, "I can show you how."

Fili shook his head, and pointed to his ears.

"I know, but watch." Kili said, and he played the chords again, this time emphasizing his left hand.

"Now you try." Kili said, and he took Fili's hand to put it on the keys, but he felt him flinch away from him.

"It's okay. Hey, it's okay." Kili said, and this time he showed Fili the notes to play, one by one on the keys. Fili watched their hands with an intense concentration.

"Now let's play." Kili said, and he went to play chords with his other hands. He made sure to tap his food against the piano, to Fili could feel the vibrations. They played the song together, and when it was over, they stared at each other.

Kili looked into Fili's eyes and for once did not see a broken brittle man, instead he saw something defrosting; a warmness that wasted there before. He realized then that he was the first person in months to look at Fili, to really notice him, and he was the one that had given Fili hope.

Fili smiled at him and scooted closer and closer in his seat until they were inches apart from each other. Kili realized that this was their moment; this was their time for their first kiss. Kili leaned forward and he brushed his lips lightly across Fili's.

Fili's head jerked back suddenly, and Kili winced as Fili flinched away from him and stood up.

"Fili?" Kili asked, and he winced as he saw his friend's hands shaking as he backed away from him. Kili instantly berated himself for acting so rashly; didn't Fili _just_ tell him that he had been in an abusive relationship? Didn't he realize that something as simple as a kiss could trigger a reaction?

Fili was writing on the notepad, when he was done he passed it over to Kili and sat back down on the end of the bench.

 _I'm sorry, Kili. I'm sorry_

Kili could feel Fili's whole body tremble. He quickly wrote back;

 _You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm sorry I acted without thinking. I'm not going to hurt you, Fili._

Fili read, and nodded his head.

 _I know. I trust you. I'm sorry._

 **We'll just take it slow. How does that sound?**

Fili looked up at Kili and nodded his head, and then slowly his took his hand and placed it on top of Kili's.

Kili could still feel him shaking, so he took his other hand and put it on top of Fili's. They looked up and smiled at each other.

Suddenly, they saw lights flash through the restaurant. Kili checked his watch and saw that it was 10:29.

Fili pointed to the front of the restaurant and nodded his head.

Kili stood up first, and they made their way to the front. When they reached the doors, Fili stopped and wrote on the notepad:

 _Thank you for an amazing night. I hope we will see each other again soon._

 **Thank you for joining me. I really had fun.**

They looked up and smiled at each other, and then Fili opened up his arms and gave Kili a tentative hug. Kili returned the hug and felt his heart fill with joy.

The black sudan outside honked harshly, making them both jump. Fili pulled out of the hug and put his hand on the door. He smiled and waved at Kili before opening it and walking towards the car.

Kili watched as he got inside and drove away, wishing that their date hadn't ended so soon

888

Please leave a review if you can, I'd love to hear what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

Kili stared impatiently at Ori's laptop and glared at the Skype logo. Fili hadn't come online and it had not bleeped once since their date.

"Did it really go that badly?" Ori asked, walking over to Kili. He was on his break from the brunch rush.

"I haven't heard from him since then. The date was on Sunday, and now it's Wednesday. Isn't there a rule or something after the first date? Don't we have to contact each other?"

"You mean the three day rule? That's for when you give someone your number, not for after the first date." Ori said

"Oh."

"And besides, I don't think those rules are set in stone. They are more like guidelines. Maybe he hasn't dated a lot, or maybe his insanely hot father is forbidding him from getting on the computer. Who knows?"

Kili raised his eyebrows, "Insanely hot?"

"Those are Bilbo's words. Not mine!" Ori laughed

"Thorin Durin does seem a little strict."

"A little? He came with him on his first date. Don't take it too seriously though, if I had a kid and he had been in a car accident then wanted to go on a date with a stranger he met on a bridge I would want to check it out too." Ori said

"I didn't just meet him there, I saved him from jumping. You'd think he's be more grateful instead of all _don't you dare hurt my son."_ Kili replied as he once again rebooted Skype. Maybe his was frozen?

"Maybe he just doesn't know how to handle it. Take it with a grain of salt, Kili and just enjoy being with Fili. Did you have fun, at least?" Ori asked, sitting down next to him.

Kili nodded, "Yeah, we did. He held my hand at the theater and then we walked back to the restaurant so I could show him the piano."

"Classic move for Kili, go on."

"Well, I showed him the piano and everything was going well but then I tried to kiss him and he freaked out."

"Oh boy. I wasn't expecting that."

"I know, me either. I thought he would be okay because we held hands earlier but I guess I went too fast. And now he hasn't emailed me, or IM'd me at all. I'm starting to get nervous." Kili said

"Don't jump to conclusions, Kili. He'll come to you when he's ready. You just have to be patient." Ori said, patting Kili on the shoulder.

Kili nodded, "I guess. I just hope I didn't ruin it."

"You didn't ruin it. I was talking to him while you were being lectured by Hot Thorin and he seemed genuinely excited for the evening."

"Really? What did he say?" Kili asked, curious.

"Aww I wish I kept the paper, but it was in his notepad. It was pretty general. He asked how long I've known you, and if I liked living in the city. He seemed a little nervous though, his hands kept shaking."

"Oh"

"But maybe they weren't shaking from nerves, maybe he has low blood sugar. I didn't know if you noticed-and I didn't want to say anything-but he is really thin. Did you guys eat after the movie?" Ori asked

Kili nodded. They had eaten, or at least, he had eaten. Now that he though about it, Fili had barely touched his food when they went to Bards. It was hard to tell how thin he was from what he was wearing that night, since he had so many layers on.

"Not too much, now that I think about it. Is it something to be worried about?" Kili asked

"Not necessarily. Maybe he's just picky. Maybe he just has a naturally thin frame. Just something to be aware of, in the back of your mind." Ori answered

Kili nodded again, he was feeling more disheartened by the moment. He honestly had no idea how he had acted. Sure, it seemed normal to him, but Fili was not normal; he had just been in an accident, he was deaf, he had been suicidal, had been in an abusive relationship. What was normal behavior to Kili might potentially be triggering for Fili. What if eating the food after the movie was stressful for him? What if the whole thing was just too much for Fili and he never spoke to him again?

"Do you think the food was too much? Did I act too quickly? What if I scared him? Or made him nervous? Ori, I don't know what to do."

"You're doing fine. Trust me. Just take it slow, and be honest with him. If you're feeling nervous, tell him. I'm sure he'll appreciate it. Just take things slow, okay?"

" Okay. Well, my shift starts in 10 minutes. Hopefully he'll IM me." He said, shooting the computer a glare, like it was it's fault that Fili had IMed him yet. Kili sighed, Ori's computer was the only way he had access to skype, so he could only IM him while he was at the restaurant. Kili had a phone, but it was an emergencies only phone and was older than he was. Bilbo gave it to him so he could keep in contact with him. At least it could text. Kind of.

A lump formed in Kili's throat as he walked downstairs to start his shift. Fili hadn't IMed him. He hadn't said a word to him. In Kili's mind he kept going over every minute of their date, and berating himself for asking him about Ryan and then trying to kiss him. Kili had no idea how to act around Fili and it was freaking him out.

The minute Kili's shift ended he raced upstairs to check Skype and his email. There were no messages from Skype, but –to his relief—Fili had sent him an email with the subject line: Hope to see you soon.

Kili smiled, and he opened the email and read:

 _Dear Kili,_

 _Thank you so much for everything you did last night. It was the first time in months that I actually had fun. I apologize for the way I acted at the end, it wasn't that I didn't like the kiss it was just unexpected. I try to keep the past in the past, but sometimes it comes up in odd places. I wish I could talk to you, hear your voice and hear you play the piano._

 _I also would like to apologize for my lack of communication and also try to explain the situation I am in to you. You see, my father has always been strict about everything-including using the computer- even before the incident on the bridge. Not that I am complaining—it is what is it—I think he's scared of loosing me, like he lost my mom. So for right now, email is the best way_

 _I would like to do something with you again, this time not in the company of my father. Maybe go to a museum? I've read that the Exploratorium is interesting, but I've never been there. What do you think?_

 _Please let me know. I can't get on skype tonight, but I might be able to tomorrow evening—around 7:15ish._

 _Thanks, and I hope to hear from you soon._

 _Fili_

Kili read the email over twice, and felt his chest burst with happiness. Fili wanted to see him again! Him! Again! And he liked the kiss! Kili felt like singing and dancing for joy.

"Ori! Ori! He sent me an email!" Kili shouted through the hallway. He heard Ori come running up the stairs.

"See? I told you he would! He really likes you Kili, and not just because you can plan a good date. You saved his life, and he really appreciates it." Ori said, coming over to him and sitting down.

"I was writing notes with him." He clarified.

"Yeah, while I was speaking with Thorin."

"What did Thorin say to you?" Ori asked

Kili winced at the memory, "He thanked me for what I did on the bridge but then he gave me a big speech about how fragile Fili is right now and that if I hurt him in anyway Thorin would come kill me."

"Really?"

Kili sighed, "He's very protective of Fili. But, what I don't understand is that if he's so protective how come he missed the signs that Fili was in pain. I mean, if you were hurting and in pain I would know, you know?"

"Yeah, cause I see you everyday, but sometimes the signs of depression aren't as evident. Maybe Thorin traveled a lot? Or maybe Fili was just really good at hiding it. From the little he's given us, we know that he lost his hearing after the accident, that's a really tough life change. Maybe he didn't know how to handle it? Or Maybe Thorin didn't know how to help him. We really don't know anything about his situation at home."

"I kind feel like I am in uncharted waters here. Do you think I could ask him about it? Or is it something he doesn't want to talk about?" Kili asked

"I don't know. He must be having so many complicated emotions and feelings right now. You just have to be patient with him. " Ori answered

Kili nodded his head, and smiled at his friend.

"What would I do without you, Ori?"

Ori blushed, "Oh shush. Are you going to reply to his email?

Kili nodded, and then started typing:

 _Hi Fili,_

 _I had so much fun with you last night and I would love to see you again._

 _Please don't worry about it, I know parrots can be difficult. Your family has been through a lot, it may take time for things to settle down into normalcy. Let me know if you need anything, you can always email me._

 _The Exploratorium sounds great. I haven't been there yet—since they moved onto the embarcadero—but I have heard that it's super cool. It's a bit of a walk from the restaurant though, want to meet at the Ferry Building? We can grab a bite to eat and then walk over to the museum. When would you like to meet? I have class tonight, but I am free tomorrow and Friday. Let me know which one works for you._

 _I'll talk to you soon,_

 _Kili_

Kili showed the email to Ori, who read it over and then he laughed and pointed to the screen.

"Difficult Parrots?" he asked, and then made a squawking noise.

"Right, I meant Parents." Kili said, quickly changing his mistake.

"What would you do without me?" Ori asked, giving him a nudge.

He quickly read it over one more time and gave Kili the okay to send it.

"I hope he responds. In the meanwhile, I should probably do some research on the Exploratorium." Kili said

"Will I ever get my computer back?"

"Nope."

Kili smiled at his friend, "Just ten more minutes and then I'll come down. Okay?"

"Okay, I'm timing you thought!" Ori laughed, and then he headed back down the stairs.

Kili smiled, and then started researching things to do on their date.

888

Please like and review!


	9. Chapter 9

That evening, after his Music Business class, Kili stayed afterward in the library to finally do a little big of research.

The first thing he brought up was Phillip J Durin, and was surprised when there only three results. The first was an article dating back five years, briefly stating that Thorin Durin's son Phillip J Durin had graduated from Sacred Heart high school and was continuing his education at University of San Francisco. There was a picture of Fili in his graduation cap, and as Kili studied it, he realized what Ori had meant. The graduate in the picture had an athletic build, with a full face and even through his graduation gown Kili could see his well defined muscles. His hair was cropped short and his eyes were bright and warm. Kili couldn't help but look at this man and wondered how it all could have gone so wrong? Of course, Kili knew some things; the accident, Ryan, and the deafness The Fili he knew was so different; he was shy and bone thin. He looked nothing like the Fili Kili was staring at in the photo.

The second was another brief article from _People Magazine_ stating that Thorin and his wife Dee were getting a divorce, and that Thorin had already moved out of their home in San Francisco and bought a house in Palo Alto.

The last article was the most relevant to what Kili was looking for. It reported the accident that killed Fili's mother. Kili read:

"Last night at 2:45am, Dee Durin and her son Phillip were driving in their car and were hit by the drunk driving going into oncoming traffic. The driver also hit a truck that was carrying large quantities of explosive material. Phillip Durin survived the accident and is in the ICU. Dee Durin was killed on impact."

And that was it. There was no CrowSpace profile for Fili, or any mention of his partner Ryan. Or his deafness. Or his recent attempt to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Just the graduation article, the divorce article and the car accident and that was it.

Kili sighed and closed the page, then he pull up a new tab and search "Exploratorium". He wanted to view the exhibit ahead of time, maybe him knowing what they were would help him avoid triggering a panic attack. He smiled to himself, as he looked at all the exhibits; it was a hands on museum, where you did experiments at each station to discovery something. It encourages teambuilding, and a strong sense of curiosity. Perfect for a second date.

888

Kili stood in front of the Ferry Building, it was a bright sunny Saturday afternoon and the building was crowded with people. Kili checked his watched for the third time in five minutes, it read 12:44. He had spoken with Fili the night before on IM, and they had agreed to meet at the Ferry Building on Saturday at 12:30pm. Kili had even given Fili his cell number so they could text—as much as Kili could text on an old Nokia phone.

Kili knew Fili always strived to be on time, he was always online when he said would and the last time he met with he, he had been early.

Suddenly, Kili's cell buzzed, making him jump. He was even more surprised when he saw that it was Fili calling him.

"Hello?" he said

"Hi. Hi. Is this Kili?" a female voice said

"Yes, this is Kili."

"Oh thank god. Hi. Hi I'm Tauri, Fili's writing tutor. I was supposed to drop him off to meet you today, but….. but Fili passed out and we had to bring him to the ER. I'm sorry, I think he might have to reschedule the date."

"Oh no. Is he okay? He passed out? What happened?" Kili asked, worry filling his chest.

"We just about done with our lesson and he stood up to stretch, then he got this weird look on his face and the next thing I knew he was on the ground because he had fainted. I was so scared and I didn't know what to do, so I called for help and then called 911. I knew he was excited about your date, I'm sorry this happened." Tauri said all of this very, very fast.

"And you're his writing tutor?"

"Yes. Yes, sorry I'm Tauri."

"Tauri? That sounds so familiar. Do you go to Golden Gate College?"

"Yeah, I'm taking a class there now. Music Business."

"Oh you know, I think we're in the same class." Kili said

"Really? It's so big. Anyway, I have really long red hair if that helps."

Kili thought back in his mind, and was surprised to see that he did know Tauri. She sat infront of him, and she _did_ have really long red hair.

"I totally remember you. I sit behind you." He said

"Oh, I know you. So you're the Kili, Fili wont stop talking about or uh…writing about. He's a great guy, you're lucky. Anyway, I thought I would call you and tell you they are taking him to Kaiser on 5th street."

"Okay, thanks so much Tauri."

"No problem at all. I'll see you in class?" she asked

"Yeah."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

Kili hung up, feeling panic fill his chest. Fili was at Kaiser on 5th steeet, which was way across town. He sighed, and then he lifted his hand up to hail a taxi.


	10. Chapter 10

As hospitals always were, the emergency room was borderline chaotic, but it didn't take Kili too long to find them—one of the advantages of being Thorin Durin's son. Room 403 was bustling with commotion when Kili arrived. It seemed like Fili had suddenly woken up, and he was scared and confused.

"Phillip, Phillip you are going to have to calm down. You are in the hospital, you fainted in your house. It's okay…it's okay calm—No! Someone grab him!" A nurse was shouting as the door flew open and Fili ran out, face full of panic. Their eyes met, and Fili stepped towards him but then he was pushed to the ground by the orderlies. Fili struggled against them, and as Kili watched he was given a strange sense of devaju. Hadn't this happened before? Flashes of the day on the bridge came in his mind, and he realized that Fili had the same expression of fear and panic that he had on the bridge.

Kili watched helplessly as they picked Fili up and brought him back into the room, as Fili continued to struggle against them. Kili watched as they strapped him down to the bed. Fili winced, his long blonde hair falling over his face.

"You need to calm down. We will let you go once you have calmed down." The nurse was saying, and Kili realized that in all the commotion, she did not realize that Fili was deaf.

Kili walked into the room, and locked eyes with Fili. The nurses stared at him.

"Excuse me, sir. You can't be in here right now."

"I need to talk to you." Kili said

"Who are you?"

"A friend of Fili—Phillip's. Please."

The nurse sighed, and then she walked out of the room. Kili saw from her badge that her name was Laura.

"Okay, you can talk."

"He's having a panic attack, he needs to calm down-."

"I know he's having a panic attack."

"He's deaf. He can't hear you. Please, let me try."

She gave him a look, and Kili could tell she was almost as panicky as Fili was. She nodded her head and then motioned for him to go into the room.

Kili walked over to Fili—who was still fighting for breath on the bed. He pulled out his notebook and wrote;

"Hey Fili. It's okay. No one is going to hurt you here."

Fili paused as he read it, and then he shook his head and pulled at the restraints.

Kili looked over his shoulder and saw that the nurses had cleared out of the room, but were hovering outside. One of them was holding an IV stand and tubing. He knew they needed to get their work done, and for them to do that Fili needed to be calm.

Kili quickly wrote;

"Breath, Fili. You have to breath in and out."

He then took Fili's hand, undid the restraint and put it up to his chest. He breathed deeply in and out so Fili could feel the rise and fall of his chest while he breathed.

"Just breath, It's okay. You will be okay." He said.

Fili's whole body was shaking, but he managed a few breathes.

"Good, that's so good. Fili. Keep breathing. In and out, in and out." Kili continued.

Fili nodded his head and continued to breath. Kili smiled. He knew that Fili couldn't understand what he was saying, but he could feel the vibrations from his voice.

"There you go. You're doing great. Just keep breathing."

Fili looked up at him, and their eyes met. He gave him a small smile before leaning into him. Kili put his free hand on his shoulder.

"It must have been so scary for you, to wake up and not know where you are or who you are with. I would have panicked too." He said, mainly for the benefit of the nurses that were still lingering outside the doorway.

After a few moments Fili pulled away and resettled himself on the bed. Kili reached over and unbuckled the strap on his other wrist.

"You don't need this anymore. You're okay. You're calm." He said

He then pulled out the notebook and wrote:

"They need to come in an administer the IV. Are you okay with them doing that?"

Fili read, and then nodded his head. He clutched Kili's sweater sleeve with his hand and Kili grabbed a hold of it as the nurses holding the equipment came inside.

"It's okay. It's all going to be okay." Kili said.

The nurses let him stay on the bed while they administered the IV. Fili winced at the needle but was for the most part okay.

Laura patted Kili on the back and gave him a small smile.

"You were great. Thanks for helping us out, and please let me know if you need anything. The doctor will be in shortly." She told him, and then she left the room.

Once they were alone, Kili looked at Fili and smiled. He reached over and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind his ear.

Fili smiled shyly at him, and then he motioned for the notepad. He wrote:

"I'm sorry I ruined our date."

Kili read it and shook his head, he wrote;

"You didn't ruin anything. I'm just glad you're okay. Do you remember what happened?"

Fili read, and then shook his head. He wrote:

"Last thing I remember was I was in a writing lesson with Tauri. She was going to drive me to the Ferry Building after our lesson. And I don't have a good track record with hospitals, so when I woke up I panicked. Thank you for helping me."

Kili nodded, then wrote:

"I'm glad I was able to come. Tauri called me and told me what happened."

Fili nodded, and then he yawned. Kili smiled, and wrote:

"Why don't you get some rest before the doctor comes in?"

Fili nodded, and then settled back down onto the bed. His hands briefly traced the IV and he watched the drip of the bag for a moment. Kili resettled himself into a chair next to the bed and took Fili's hand in his.

Fili gave him a smile, and closed his eyes. Within minutes he was asleep.

888


	11. Chapter 11

"My son has been in the hospital almost all day and nobody had thought to contact me until now? Do you know how stressful it was for me to come home to find no one was there? What happened this time?"

Thorin Durin's low baritone voice drifted into the room, waking Kili from his nap. He had somehow dosed off a few minutes after Fili had, with his head on the hospital bed. He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. How long had it been?

Kili listened as the Doctor explained to Thorin in a whole bunch of medical jargon that basically said that Fili hadn't been eating enough and had passed out because of low levels of everything. Kili he felt his heart sink as he realized that Ori's suspicions had been true and then berated himself for not doing more to help.

He looked over and saw that Fili was awake, and that he was looking reproachfully at a tray that held cottage cheese, some jello and a cheesy looking pasta.

Fili looked up at Kili and gave him a smile, then looked down at the food and shook his head in disgust.

Kili looked at the tray, it didn't look appetizing to him either. He had no idea what to do though. Should he encourage Fili to eat? Or agree with him? But before he was able to say anything at all, Thorin and the doctor walked into the room. Thorin stopped cold when he saw Kili.

"Hello Killian." He said, but his tone said _You again. What are you doing here?_

"Hello Mr. Durin. Fili's tutor called-."

"What happened this time? Not another bridge, I hope." Thorin interrupted. Once again, he made no effort to engage with Fili, or help him follow their conversation.

Kili's eyes narrowed, "Of course not. He passed out at his house. I heard about it from his tutor Tauri and came to see how he was doing." He answered, not liking Thorin's tone or how he oh so casually mentioned the incident on the bridge.

Thorin turned away from Kili and back to the doctor.

"When can I take him home?"

"I'd like to observe him for atleast one more night, his-."

"One night? That's too long. I want him discharged today." Thorin said, his phone bleeped and he pulled it out and looked at it.

The doctor, despite her authority, seemed to shrink in comparison with Thorin. She straightened up her shoulders and stood tall.

"Mr. Durin, I know you want to get home but I cannot allow Phillip to go until we have finished some tests. It's hospital procedure."

Thorin looked up at her, "what tests?"

"A CBC, electrolyte count and-

"He doesn't need those. He's fine. He needs to come home."

"I'm aware, but -."

"Are you aware that I make a generous donations to this hospitals cancer research every year?" Thorin threatened, standing to his full height.

"Yes, I am aware Mr. Durin but do to the-."

"Then it would be wise for you to release my son to me. Today." He said firmly, looking her directly in the eye.

The doctor sighed, and then she nodded her head.

"I'll start processing the discharge papers. Makes sure he eats." She said, pointing to Fili and the tray of food. Then she left the room.

Now it was just Fili, Kili and Thorin.

Thorin looked over to Kili, "Kilian, you may go now. I've got this under control. Fili has seen the insides of enough hospitals in his life. It's time to go home."

"What? But-."

"I think it would wise for you to keep your distance from Fili."

Thorin's gaze was cold and icy, and even Kili knew that that look meant trouble if he disobeyed. He nodded his head.

"Okay." Kili said, feeling he had already lost the battle. He packed up his back, and gave a tentative wave to Fili, who waved back. Then he left the hospital room.


	12. Chapter 12

Kili didn't see or hear anything from Fili for three days after that. He had no idea how he was doing, or what was happening. The memory of Thorin kicking him out of that hospital room and him leaving Fili alone made him so angry that every time he broke whatever he was holding when he thought of it. Thorin didn't even want to listen to the part where he had calmed Fili down, or how he had taken a cab all the over to the hospital. He just asked him to leave. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair. Especially to Fili, who he felt like wasn't getting the help that he needed. Or maybe he was? Maybe Thorin had his own line of private doctors that Kili had no idea about. That was the frustrating part: no one was keeping him in the loop. He had no idea what was going on!

Ori found Kili pacing back and forth in the office. His eyes took in several broken pencils and ripped pieces of paper before walking over to Kili and giving him a hug.

"You are going to have to relax. It will be okay." He said

Kili nodded, and suddenly he felt his eyes sting. He was so worried, but no one was helping him.

"I feel so helpless."

"I know. Thorin had no right to make you leave." Ori said

Kili nodded his head.

"Have you spoken to Tauri? Does she know anything?" Ori asked.

Kili perked up, he hadn't though to speak to Tauri.

"No, no I haven't. But I don't have her number. She called me from Fili's phone."

"What about your class? Most have like, an online component don't they?"

Kili thought for a moment, and then he nodded his head.

"Yeah. Yeah I think so. Can I check?"

Ori nodded, and Kili opened up the macbook. He logged into his school account and brought up Slack—an online group work service. Sure enough, Tauri was listed as one of the participants, and it showed that she was online.

Kili brought up a private message box, and typed:

: Hi Tauri, it's Kili. Have you heard from Fili?"

: Hi Kili. No, I havnt L I was supposed to do a lesson today, but they called and canceled. I have one scheduled for Thursday though if you want me to pass on a message.

: That would be great, just tell him I'm thinking about him, and to email me as soon as possible.

: Sure, no problem. He really likes you, Kili. You're all he talks about.

: I like him too. How long have you been working with him?

: About a month now. I'm a writing/English tutor. Thorin contacted me on my website and told me he wanted me to help Fili with his writing, He told Fili was having some trouble remembering things after the accident. But I think he wanted someone to just come be with Fili so he wouldn't be alone all the time. The first week I worked there Thorin booked me every night for two hours.

: oh wow

: it was great money for me, but I think it was draining for Fii. I think we ended up just playing cards most of the time. Fili's a very eloquent writer, he doesn't need much writing help. Now we are trying to learn how to read lips together.

: You're a good friend for sticking with him.

: Thanks J Hey, I have to go now—more tutoring students- but I will talk to you soon, and see you in class! If I hear anything about Fili, I'll let you know.

: Okay, is there a number I can reach you? Mine is (650)546-9988

: Great! Mine's (650)739-9376

: Thanks, I'll see you in class.

: Sure thing, bye!

Kili looked up at Ori, who smiled gently at him.

"See there are people on your side too. Fili will be okay. Don't worry."

Kili nodded his head.

"I hope so."

888

It was Saturday—one week since Fili had been in the hospital because he had fainted in his house, one week since Kili had spoken to him.

Deep down Kili knew it wasn't Fili's fault for not contacting him, he knew that his father was super controlling and that he didn't want any of this to happen. Kili knew Fili would fight for them if he had a chance to.

Kili had accepted that he wasn't going to hear from Fili, had accepted that this relationship was going to be hard. He would fight for them though, because he knew that what they had was real.

An accepting state and a happy state are two different thing though. Kili felt like he was just going through the motions of his daily life; work, class, check email, go home to houseboat. He felt like he was just floating, waiting for the next thing to happen.

It was in this floating, non happy, accepting state that Kili had found himself in when he went to work and the reason he dropped a whole tray of freshly backed blueberry scones on Mrs. Lobelia's head when he saw a familiar face walk through the restaurant doors.

"Fili!" Kili cried, he handed the plate to Mrs. Lobelia and ignoring her "well, I say…." comment, he ran over to Fili and hugged him tight.

"I missed you so much!" he said, and even though he knew Fili couldn't hear it, he knew that he could feel it.

He pulled away from the hug and looked over his friend. Fili looked better—less skeletal-than he did a week ago and there was a tinge of color in his cheeks. His long blonde hair was pulled neatly back in a bun and his blue eyes shown brightly. He smiled at Kili and squeezed his hand. He then motioned for the table for them to sit.

"Yes, yes of course. Do you want anything? Water? Tea? Cake?" he offered, but Fili shook his head and then sat down. He pulled out his notepad, and started to write:

 _I'm okay for now, thank you (I read your lips and understood!). I'm so happy to see you._

Kili read, and then answered;

 _I'm so happy to see you too._

Fili wrote, and then blushed a darker shade of red.

 _I'm sorry I was unable to contact you last week. I wanted to, though._

Kili smiled, and then wrote;

 _I know, it's okay. You look good, and it's good to see you. I missed you._

Fili looked up at him, and smiled. Then he wrote;

 _Would you like to do something today? What's your schedule like?_

Kili read, and then answered:

 _My shift ends in 20 mins, and then I get an hour for lunch. Wanna go grab something? Or we can eat here?_

Fili read and nodded his head.

 _Sure, I can wait here for you._

Kili smiled, and put his hand on Fili's. For once, he didn't flinch away from him. Fili smiled back.

Kili heard Bilbo calling for him from the kitchen.

"Okay, I'll see you in 20?" Kili asked

Fili nodded his head, and Kili stood up to finish his shift.

When he had finally finished carrying the last plate of food (20 minutes seemed like an eternity to him), he hung up his apron, quickly combed through his hair (it had gotten longer….no extra money for haircuts when your saving for a demo record) and went back out to where Fili was waiting for him.

Fili smiled as he approached, and gave a small wave. He wrote someone on his notepad while Kili sat, and then showed it to him. Kili read;

 _Do you like sushi?_

Kili nodded and smiled. He only had it once, and that was because Ori had basically said "try this" and shoved it in his mouth for him.

Fili wrote:

 _Today's my treat. I know a great place that's a few minutes from here._

Kili read and smiled. The he wrote;

 _Sounds good to me._

The walk to sushi place was short, but sweet. Kili couldn't help smiling at Fili as they walked together. He seemed like he was doing much better since he saw him in the hospital a week ago.

At the restaurant, they were seated and Kili looked at the menu. He didn't have any idea what any of the items were, but he didn't want Fili to see how clueless he was.

He motioned for the notepad, then wrote:

 _Everything looks good. What's your favorite?_

Fili read, and then wrote:

 _I like the Lion King Rolls, and anything with salmon. What about you?_

Kili read, and smiled. He _did_ like salmon, it was the only fish he would eat despite Bilbo's many attempts at getting him to try the other kinds of fish that were served at the restaurant.

 ** _Salmon's my favorite too!_**

 _Let's order two roles, I think that'll be enough. How about the Lion King and the Rainbow? They both have salmon._

 ** _Sounds good to me!_**

Once the food arrived, Kili realized with horror that he had no idea how to eat with chopsticks. He looked up at Fili, who was expertly grabbing a piece of salmon role with his sticks. How did he make it look so easy? Kili clumsily picked up his sticks and (trying to mimic Fili) he reached over and managed to stab a piece of the role. He lifted it up and almost managed to drag the mangled piece of sushi to his plate before dropping it on the table. He heard a slightly huff, looked up and realized that Fili was laughing at him.

Fili smiled, put down his chopsticks and wrote:

 _Having some trouble?_

Kili smiled and nodded

 ** _I have to admit that I have never used chopsticks before._**

 _Really? You have tried sushi before, right?_

 ** _Ori shoved a piece of a California roll in my mouth one time…..but that was it. I liked it, though! I love trying new kinds of food._**

 _That's one way to try something new._

 ** _What's your favorite kind of sushi?_**

 _Anything with salmon, and tempura, tempura anything is always delicious._

 ** _Tempura?_**

 _it's anything that's been deep fried in crispy batter._

 ** _Sounds good to me._**

 _Want me to show you how to use those chopsticks?_

Kili laughed and nodded. Fili looked up at him and smiled, and then held out his hands to demonstrate how to use chopsticks, and Kili did his best to try and copy him. He kinda did it.

"You make it look easy" Kili said

Fili blushed, and then motioned for Kili to pick up a roll on the plate that was nearest to him. Kili did, he picked up and the and was just about to bring it over to his plate when _bloooop_ it fell off of his chopsticks and into Fili's water glass.

Fili smiled and laughed—actually laughed- and then Kili snorted and broke down giggling. He looked at the poor piece of sushi in the water, and then at Fili laughing and he felt like his heart was glowing and he wanted to soak in the warmth but he couldn't stop laughing. Kili looked up at Fili who had been laughing so hard he got the hiccups and was about to tell him to drink some water-but then he realized that Fili's glass was full of sushi.

"Here, you can have mine." Kili said, handing him over the clean glass.

Fili hiccupped again and nodded his head. He took the glass and smiled before taking a sip. After a few more sips, and several more hiccups he was able to control his breathing enough to grab the pen and write:

 _I haven't laughed that hard in months, thank you Kili for always making me smile._

Kili smiled

 ** _it's good to hear you laugh._**

Fili returned his smile, and then reached out and put his hand on Kili's. Even though Fili was happy, Kili could still feel the tremble in his hand, he looked over at his plate and saw that the only thing on it was a half eaten piece of sushi.

With the image of Ori stuffing his mouth, Kili decided to try something. He –very carefully- let go of Fili's hand and picked up his chopsticks, he stabbed a piece of Lion King role and brought it up to Fili. Fili—to his surprise—accepted the role with s smile and totally would have put the whole piece in his mouth if it hadn't been for Kili's awkward chopsticking.

After that moment—either Fili was hunger enough to keep eating, or he realized that Kili noticed that he wasn't—the two of them ate both rolls.

When the bill came, Fili insisted and put down his credit card. Kili couldn't stop smiling.

They exited the restaurant and slowly walked back to the diner. Kili knew his shift was about the start, but he didn't want to leave Fili so soon. He motioned for the notepad, and then wrote;

 ** _This was so much fun. I am so glad I got to see you, and that you are okay. Let's meet up again soon!_**

Fili read the note, smiled and then wrote:

 _It was really fun—I have missed you. I'm not sure what my schedule is, but if I can get around my father's crazy schedule I'd love to see you again soon._

 ** _Crazy schedule?_**

 _Yeah….when he's not traveling for work he has my days planned down to the T._

 ** _I'm sorry, that sounds well…..crazy._**

Fili smiled and nodded his head.

They both stopped as they arrived at the front doors of the restaurant. Kili saw the now familiar black sudan waiting for Fili.

Kili gave him a hug, and he smiled as Fili hugged back. He turned and walked into the restaurant, and watched at the black sudan drove away.

Finally they had their date, date, a real date where nothing went wrong (besides a divebombing piece of sushi).

And it had been perfect.

CHAPTER 12

"So….Kili I was thinking, your birthday is coming up soon." Bilbo started, smiling down at Kili who was carefully cleaning the piano keys.

Kili looked up at him.

"Yes, yes it is."

His 24th birthday was indeed coming up, on June 19th which was two weeks away.

"What were you thinking, Bilbo?" Kili asked, grinning at the small man.

"Well, 24 is a big year don't you think? One year away from being 25. It's pretty exciting. Anyway, I was thinking we could shut the restaurant down for the weekend and head up to my little cabin in Tahoe. What do you think?"

Kili grinned, "I think that's a brilliant idea. How many people can the cabin fit?"

Bilbo smiled, "Yes, you can ask Fili to join us." He answered Kili's unasked question.

"And anyone else, actually. That red head from your class? She seems nice. And Ori, of course." Bilbo continued, counting off his fingers.

Do you think thorin will let him come?

I don't know, I mean this is the guy that wouldn't let Fili celebrate his own 21st birthday. I'll ask him, maybe Thorin will surprise us." Kili said.

Later that day, Kili logged onto skype on Ori's macbook and was pleasantly surprised to see the Fili was online. Immeditaly, Kili started up a conversation:

Kili_Oakenshield92: Hey Fili! How's it going?

PhillipJDurin: I'm doing alright, how are you?

Kili_Oakenshield92: I'm great. Yesterday was so much fun, I laugh everytime I think of the divebombing piece of sushi.

PhillipJDurin: Me too. It was fun

Kili_Oakenshiled92: Hey, I wanted to ask you something

PhillipJdurin: Sure

Kili_Oakenshield92: My birthday is coming up on June 19th, and Bilbo has offered to take me and a few friends up to his cabin in Tahoe to celebrate. Do you want to join us? It'll be fruday through Sunday.

PhillipJDurin: You know I would love to, but…..I have to ask my father.

Kili_Oakenshield92: Yeah, that crazy schedule of his.

PhillipJDurin: Let me go talk to him, I'll be right back.

Kili_Oakenshield: Okay.

Kili waited for about 15 minutes and he couldn't help but wonder why Thorin was so strict. Was it because of Fili's deafness? Or was it because Fili had tried to jump off the bridge? He hated not knowing the full story.

PhillipJDurin: Hey Kili…..he said no.

Kili_Oakenshield92: WHAT?

PhillipJDurin: I know

Kili_Oakenshied92: Why? Doesn't he trust us?

PhillipJDurin: He does it's just…it's complicated.

Kili_Oakenshiled92: Is there anything we can do to change his mind?

PhillipJDurin: I'm open to ideas. Would it help if Bilbo called him? Or if he called Bilbo?

Kili_Oakenshiled92: What if you just came with us anyway?

PhillipJDurin: I don't think that's a good idea. He already doesn't trust me.

Kili_Oakenshiled92: why?

PhillipJDurin: ….*

Kili_Oakenshield92: Sorry, you don't have to answer if you don't want to.

PhillipJDurin: No, no it's okay. I'm trying to put the reason in the right words. The night of the accident, I was helping my mother move her belongings up to her friend's house in Oregon.

Kili_Oakenshield92: Oh

PhillipJDurin: She was running away from my father. After the divorce, they stayed in contact because of me. My father wanted to make amends with her and change the divorce but she didn't.

PhillipJDurin: My father didn't know she was running away until we got into the accident.

PhillipJDurin: It was my fault.

PhillipJDurin: Things just spiraled after that.

Kili_Oakenshield: Oh Fili, I'm so sorry.

Kili_Oakenshield: And it wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. It was an accident.

PhillipJDurin: You are the first person who's told me that.

Kili_Oakenshiled92: You're a good person, Fili. Let me talk to Bilbo, maybe he can convince your father.

PhillipJDurin: Thank you, Kili. I hope it works out, I would really like to go with you.

Kili_Oakenshiled92: It will, don't worry.

PhillipJDurin: Hey, I have to go now but I'll be on later tonight if you want to chat more.

Kili_Oakenshield92: Okay, I'll talk to you soon.

PhillipJDurin: Bye

Kili_Oakenshield92: Bye

Kili watched as Fili's name went grey and then he went downstairs to tell Bilbo the news.

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	13. Chapter 13

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"Well you know what? I think I'm just going to have to talk to this Thorin Durin and convince him that it's going to be a perfectly safe trip with no _delinquent_ behavior at all. Not in my cabin!" Bilbo hissed as he dialed Thorin's number on his cell. He—just as Kili had expected—had not taken the news well. Infact, he was a little insulted that Thorin didn't trust him.

Kili may have stretched the truth a little bit when he told Bilbo why Fili couldn't come.

Fortunately for Bilbo, and unfortunately for Thorin, they had exchanged cards the night of Kili's first date with Fili.

"Hello yes Mr. Durin this is Bilbo Baggins from the restaurant. I wanted to talk to you about Kili and his-."

"Yes I know what you said but-."

Kili knew from experience that the one thing that Biblo hated the most (besides vapers) was being cut off on the phone.

"Now you llisten here, Mr. Durin. Fili has the right to have some fun once in a while. I am going to be with the lads the entire time and I will make sure nothing happens to them-."

"No there will not be any drinking!" Bilbo actually stood up to fill height and puffed out his chest, even though no one but Kili could see him.

"No there will not be any smoking-I can-."

"No I don't have a boat, it's just a cabin by the-."

"Of course I'm not going to take them to the casinos. Who do you think I am? I don't know what kind of _people_ you have dealt with before but I can assure that there will not be any problems. It's just a weekend trip to Lake Tahoe to celebrate Kili's birthday. We'll hang out by the lake, have some cake, open presents and then come home-."

Kili could almost see the steam coming out of Bilbo's ears and despite the little man anger Kili couldn't help but smile. Maybe Fili could come with them after all? Had Bilbo finally gotten to Thorin?

"Yes. Friday to Sunday-."

"Yes. He will be home by 5:30 on the dot."

"Yes. I will call you when we arrive."

 _"_ _Yes._ I will keep and eye on him and make sure he eats."

"Okay. Okay. Okay. Good. See you on Friday at 3:00pm."

"Goodbye."

Bilbo rolled his eyes and huffed loudly, but then he looked up and grinned at Kili.

"Fili can come. As long as we are back by Sunday at 5:30 sharp and we don't drink, gamble, swim, party, smoke, breath, move, talk, or participate in an orgi he will be totally fine."

"Aww whats the fun if we cant have a gambling orgi smoke fest?" Kili teased, but he then smiled at Bilbo.

"Thank you for calling. I think this will be fun, and It'll be exactly what Fili needs."

Bilbo smiled, "Me too. God knows the lad's been through hell these past few months. A little mountain air will be good for him."

Kili smiled, "I agree"

And then he ran upstairs to tell Ori the good news.

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Killian Oakenshield couldn't be happier.

It was his birthday weekend, and they were going to Tahoe.

And Fili was coming with them.

He was going to spend the entire weekend with Fili without the constant interruptions from his father.

Kili rolled his suitcase out into the main dining room of the restaurant where Bilbo, Tauri and Ori were chatting and packing up their stuff.

"Hey guys!"

"Hey Kili! Happy birthday!" Tauri said with a smile. She had her long red hair in a braid going over her left shoulder, and was wearing black yoga pants, a navy tank top and a light blue plaid button up shirt.

Kili walked over and gave her a hug.

"I'm so glad you could come"

"Thanks for inviting me, I'm so excited." She responded.

"So, is it true? Is Fili really coming?" Ori said, walking over to the two.

The past two weeks had been slightly crazy. After Thorin's initial yes, there had been a lot of trip micromanaging from him, up to the point where Bilbo actually stomped all the way to the Garden District and gave him a piece of his mind.

Kili and Tauri had been in class, but Fili and Ori had been witnesses.

After that, Thorin left the trip planning to Bilbo.

"Yes, he's really coming." Kili said with a smile.

"He's so excited." Tauri added.

Kili was actually slightly jealous of Tauri and that Thorin Durin paid her $60 an hour to tutor Fili three times a week. Thorin wanted her to prep him for his return to USF in the fall, as she was a rising junior there. She was helping him learn how to read lips, and teaching some basic sign language (Thorin explicitly told her he didn't want Fili to learn because he was afraid Fili might forget his words completely). Tauri was truly a good friend though and always dedicated a portion to their lesson to Skype time with Kili on her laptop. She had started working with Fili right after the accident, and about a month before Kili met him on the bridge. Kili knew she felt bad for not noticing how miserable Fili was but then again, they all knew by now the Fili was really good at hiding his emotions when he wanted to.

And with her help, Kili was starting to piece together what exactly was going on behind closed doors at the house of Durin. The incident on the bridge had been a bit of a nasty wake up call for Thorin, and he was reacting as any parent would but he was doing it wrong! Thorin's entire family had a history of mental illness, and he was worried that Fili was going down that same path his brother and grandfather did. But, Fili was not his uncle nor his grandfather. Kili had confidence that Fili would pull through this, because he was finally surrounding himself with supportive people.

After Bilbo's third or fourth argument with Thorin, he finally put his foot down and basically adopted Fili into their little work family. He made it a mission of his to learn and teach sign language, he made sure Fili was eating and most of all, he showed Fili that people did still care about him. At least—he did when Thorin allowed it.

It was a miracle this trip was even happening.

"Kili! Kili! He's here!" Ori shouted pointing at the window.

Kili could help but smile at his friend's enthusiasm. He looked up and saw Fili stepping out of the black sudan. He was wearing tan pants, and a dark green jacket that was buttoned closed. It had a hood that was trimmed with fur (despite the summer heat) and to Kili he looked just like a little lion. His golden hair was pulled back in a messy bun, and he was wearing tan pumas.

Fili tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear, looked up and smiled at Kili.

Kili gave a wave, and Fili waved back.

To Kili's surprise (and relief) Thorin had not come with Fili. As Fili stepped onto the curb, the black sudan sped off, like it was in a big hurry.

Kili approached the blonde as he walked through the doors of the restaurant.

"it's so good to see you" Kili said, and opened his arms out for a hug. Fili briefly accepted the hug and then stepped away and Kili felt him shaking from underneath the jacket.

"You okay?" he asked

Fili shrugged his shoulders. He was getting better and at lip reading every time Kili saw him (which was on average, every two weeks).

Kili smiled, then took his hand, and squeezed it tight.

"Come on, I'll show you where to put your stuff." He said, and then lead him into the main part of the restaurant.

Ori, Bilbo and Tauri waved hello.

Bilbo walked up them and smiled.

"Hi Fili" he said, speaking and signing at the same time.

Both Tauri and Biblo were encouraging sign language, despite what Thorin thought about it.

Fili smiled and waved hello—he was still very shy in sign language.

"I'm so glad you could come." Bilbo said and signed

Fili smiled, nodded and then made the sign for thank you.

"Alright, now that we're all here. Let's get going!" Bilbo said and signed, he bounced excitedly on his feet, and then he motioned for them to follow him to hid Subaru out back. They piled their stuff in the trunk and then got into the car (Ori took shotgun, Fili and Kili were in the middle and Tauri had the backseat all to herself).

As they were pulling out of the driveway, a car—a bright red Tesla to be exact—sped around the corner screeched to a stop to avoid hitting them, blasted his horn loudly and then sped off. Bilbo jammed the breaks hard causing them all to jerk forward in their seats.

"Goddamn bastard." Bilbo muttered under his breath, then he turned around, looking them over.

"Everyone okay?" he asked

"I'm fine, just cause they have this big fancy car doesn't mean they can just do whatever they want." Tauri replied hotly.

Ori laughed, "It's a good thing they saw us, a trip to the ER would have put a damper on Kili's celebration. You two okay?" he asked, turning around.

"I'm okay." Kili answered, but he wasn't looking at Ori, he was looking at Fili who was shaking like a leaf. He had his eyes squeezed shut, and was trying to control his shaky breathing. Kili put his hand on Fili's knees and winced as Fili flinched away from his touch.

"

Tauri tapped Kili's shoulder, "the accident" she whispered.

Then Kili knew what it was; Fili was having a flashback from the night of the accident. He had been on the oncoming traffic side, he must have seen the whole thing.

Kili unbuckled and scooted towards Fili.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Look at me, you're okay" he said. He picked up Fili's hand and put it on his chest. Fili clutched his shirt, and Kili could feel his hands shaking,

Fili kept his eyes shut, and shook his head slightly.

"It's okay, your okay, we're okay." Kili repeated over and over. Until finally after a few beats Fili caught his breathe. He opened his eyes and looked up at Kili. He gave him a small smile, and then with his free hand he signed "sorry".

"No no no, it's okay. Don't worry." Kili answered

"Deep breathes, Fili. Tell him to take deep breaths." Bilbo said.

"Breath. In and out. It's okay. Just breath." Kili said

Fili signed "sorry" again, but then he took a few shaky breaths.

"There you go, that's okay." Kili said

After a few more breaths, Fili gave Kili a small smile and nodded his head.

"Take your time, Fee. Just breath, it's okay. There's no rush." Kili said

Fili nodded, and then he made the sign that said he was okay.

"Okay, I think we're okay." Kili said to Bilbo

Bilbo flashed Kili a concerned look the in the rearview mirror, but he started the car and slowly backed out of the driveway.

Kili squeezed Fili's hand, he wasn't shaking as much as he was before.

Fili signed, "Sorry" again.

Kili smiled at him and shook his head.

"Please, it's okay. Don't be sorry" Kili said

Fili nodded, eyes focused on his knees. He then leaned into Kili, putting his head on his shoulder. Kili squeezed his hand again, and then leaned onto the seat. The combination of the movement of the car, and Fili's presence was making him drowsy.

And soon he was asleep.

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Kili woke to someone tapping his shoulder

"Uhh waassss up?" he asked sleepily

He opened up his eyes to Fili smiling at him, with an amused expression on his face.

"Wake up, silly Kili! We're here!" he heard Ori shout

"Already?"

He sat up and look outside; pine trees surrounded them, and beyond the pines he could see Bilbo's quant little cabin.

"Oh wow, that was fast."

"For you." Ori added

Kili shrugged, he looked at Fili.

"How was the ride?" he asked

Fili shrugged, and then made the sign for sleep.

"You slept too?"

He nodded.

"Alright guys, now that we are all awake, lets get inside!" Bilbo said, getting out of the car.

Kili unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped outside, he breathed in the fresh mountain air and smiled.

"Hey! Are you going to leave me here?" Tauri shouted

"Oops, sorry Tauri." Kili quickly put the seat down for her so she could climb out.

"I took a snooze too. The windy roads always made me sleepy. Wow, it's hot up here." She commented, taking off her flannel jacket.

Kili nodded, it was pretty warm. Probably 80 degrees or so.

"Come on inside, Tauri. I think you're going to like it. This cabin has been in my family for age, be sure to take off your shoes. the hardwood is orginal…." Bilbo said, shuffling them all inside.

Kili waited for Fili, and then smiled at his jacket.

"Are you hot?" he asked

Fili just shrugged, but then he took off the jacket to reveal a long sleeved black shirt.

"Let's get inside." Kili said, and he extended his hand. Fili took it and Kili lead him inside the small but cute cabin. The living room had hardwood floors, an old fashioned fireplace and a large brown sofa. The kitchen was connected to the living room through a small door, and Kili saw the old gas stove peaking out. The cabin extended further into the back, where there were three bedrooms and a bathroom. Kili loved everything about Bilbo's cabin, it smelled like pine needles and firewood and-

"AHHHHHH!" a blood curdling scream came from the bathroom.

"What-what is it? AHHH-." Kili screeched and he jumped into Fili's arms just as two hairy black spiders crawled out from underneath the closet door.

Fili stumbled backwards with a quiet _ooofm_ , and then put Kili on the couch. He turned around looked at the spiders, then looked at Kili hopping up and down at the couch, then looked at the spiders again. He walked over and in one swift motioned crushed the spider with his foot. He chased the other one out the front door with a broom.

"There's another one! They are coming out of the closet. They are in the closet and they are coming out!" Kili was jumping on the couch screaming. Fili gave up on his heroics as a third spider crawled out of the closet and up the broom handle. He dropped the broom and jumped up to join Kili on the couch.

"They are _spiders_ not dragons! Come on guys-ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww. OKAY EVERYONE OUTSIDE!"

Bilbo shouted, skirting away from the fourth black hairy spider that was crawling out from under the fridge and ran towards the back door.

Kili and Fili jumped from the couch to the table, and then hurried after Bilbo just as a screaming Ori ran past them and out the door.

"What the HELL were those things?!" Tauri shouted as she brushed out her long hair.

"One assaulted me in the bathroom. It literally jumped onto me while I was peeing." She huffed, looking at Bilbo.

"Okay. It's okay. I will go in, get the vacuum and deal with them." Bilbo said, standing up straighter.

"Or….we could just camp out here for the weekend."

"Go get the vacuum, Bilbo!"

"Okay. OK. Fine." Bilbo jumped up and down a little bit.

"Okay. Here I go."

"Oh my god guys. Come on, they are _just_ spiders." Tauri said, pushing past Bilbo and looking through the glass door.

"Oh my god. They've multiplied. Nope nope nope nope." Tauri said as she backed up from the door.

"Fili, Kili. It's up to you."

Kili was terrified of spiders. He always had been. He could actually feel himself shaking. He _hated_ spiders.

"You know, I am warming up to Bilbo's idea. Let's just camp out here." He said backing away from the door into Fili. He turned around and realized Fili was laughing.

"What?" he asks playfully, giving him a smile.

Fili tried signing, but then he shook his head and pulled out his notepad.

 _This is the first time I've seen you scared of anything._

Kili smiled, and then wrote:

 _I'm not scared of spiders. No way. Are you?_

Fili shook his head, and then he stepped forward and pointed to himself, then to the door.

"Go for it Fili. Save us. Save us all." Bilbo said and signed.

Fili nodded, gave them a salute then marched into the spider-infested cabin.

About ten minutes later, Fili returned carrying the broom and beaming.

"Yay! You did it!"

"Hurrah for Fili!" Bilbo cheered

Fili smiled, and then walked over to Kili.

"Well, now that the house is safe again, let's get inside! We can go down to the main town and get some lunch." Bilbo said as he shuffled Ori and Tauri inside.

Kili smiled at Fili, he didn't want to go inside quite yet. He motioned for the notepad.

 _Want to go down and see the dock?_

Fili read the note and nodded his head.

Kili had been to Bilbo's cabin several times before (this was the first time he had seen the spiders though), and he knew the way down to the private dock that was on the lake.

He led the way down the small hill to the dock, which was made out of old wooden plants. A paddleboat was tied up to the left, and it creaked softly in the wind. The water was bright and clear, the dock went out far into deep water so if they walked all the way to the end they could jump right in.

Fili smiled, and then motioned to the lake and signed "beautiful"

Kili smiled, Fili seemed less shy with sign language when they were alone. They walked all the way to the end and stared at the clear water.

"We should swim, later." Kili said, Fili looked at him and shook his head indicating that the hadn't understood him. Kili motioned for the notepad and wrote:

 _We should go swimming later._

Fili read and nodded his head. He took the notepad and wrote;

 _That sounds fun._

Kili smiled, "I brought my-."

He paused and his eyes widened as he saw a hairy black spider crawl up onto Fili's shoulder. Fili followed his gaze, saw the spider, gave a yell of surprise and in his attempt to shake the thing off, he tripped over a loose deck board and plunged into the water, cloths and all.

"FILI!" Kili shouted and he jumped in after him. Fili resurfaced, and to Kili's surprise was laughing. Kili swam up to him and took his hand.

"You okay?" he asked

Fili nodded, treading water. It was too deep for them to stand. Kili looked down at the crystal clear water and he could see the pebbly bottom. Then, Fili splashed him.

"Hey!" Kili shouted, looking up and seeing Fili's mischievous grin.

He splashed him back, but Fili ducked underwater and swam off. He resurfaced a few feet away from Kili.

Kili smiled. And he watched Fili float and smile up at the sky. He was still wearing his tan pants and jeans. This was a whole new side of Fili, and he was liking it. Kili swam up to Fili and smiled.

"Do you like the water?" he asked

Fili nodded his head.

"Me too."

Kili smiled, then swam up to the dock and took off his wet shirt. He threw it up onto the wood, and then he removed his shoes and pants. He then dove underwater, enjoying the way the cool water felt on his skin.

"It's easier to swim without cloths." He suggested to Fili, but Fili shook his head shyly. He had taken off his shoes at least, and had thrown them onto the dock.

They circled each other in the water, and Kili absolutely loved the way the sunlight and the water made Fili's golden hair sparkle.

"Hey you guys beat us too the water." a voice said, and Kili looked up to see a bikini clad Tauri looking down at them and smiling. Ori was standing next to her in his swimsuit.

"Come on it, the water's great!" Kili shouted, he turned to Fili but to his surprise (and disappointment), Fili was swimming towards the latter to get out. He followed him.

The notepad had been with Fili when he had fallen in. Fili pointed to himself and then to the sun.

"You're going to dry off?" Kili asked, and Fili nodded, but then he motioned for Kili to keep swimming.

"Do you want to change into your swimsuit?" Tauri asked him.

Fili shook his head, and made the same motion.

"Here's a towel for you." Tauri said, handing him her extra towel.

He nodded thanks and then spread it out on the dock and sat down. He kept his long sleeved black shirt on, even though it was hot in the direct sun.

"Geronimo!" Ori shouted as he canon balled off the dock. Kili laughed as Ori hit the water with a splash. He looked up at Fili, his hair shimmering in the sun and he didn't think he could feel happier even if he tried.

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	14. Chapter 14

Warning: This chapter is RATED M for explicit material (they have sex).

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The full moon was shining so bright above them they didn't need flashlights to make their way down to the dock.

Kili sat first, dangling his legs over the edge. His toes skimmed the water. The night was still warm, and the cool water felt nice on his feet.

Fili sat down next to him, and he pulled out his notepad and pen, and wrote;

 _Thank you, for everything._

 _I don't mean just this weekend. I was in a dark place, but you pulled me out of it._

 _I never want to go back there again._

"I know. And you wont. I'll always be there for you, Fili." Kili said, taking his hand.

Fili moved in closer, his eyes glinting in the bright moonlight. It was so bright Fili could read his lips easily.

Kili smiled.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked

Fili's smile broadened, and he nodded.

Kili leaned in and pressed his lips against Fili's.

Fili hesitated for just a moment, but then he leaned into him, kissing him back.

Kili pulled away for a moment to pull his shirt off, and then he started to tug on Fili's.

Fili stopped his hands, shaking his head.

"Hey, it's okay." Kili said, whatever Fili was hiding underneath his shirt, he could handle. He knew it.

"Trust me." he said

Fili paused and the he nodded his head, and pulled his black shirt up over his head to reveal a dark scar that went across his chest and down to his stomach. There were also two dark long scars on each wrist, accompanied by dozens of smaller ones.

Kili's heart sank as he realized that their meeting on the bridge wasn't Fili's first attempt. This was what he had been hiding earlier; he didn't want them to know about the scars on his wrists.

Fili shook his head, covering the scars by crossing his arms across his chest. He cast his eyes down, looking at the dark wood of the dock instead of Kili.

"It's okay, Fili. I think you're beautiful." Kili said, he took Fili's chin and gently lifted it up until their eyes met.

"You are beautiful." he said.

Kili then took Fili's left arm, and kissed every scar on his wrist, then he moved to the right arm.

"You are beautiful." he repeated.

Fili's eyes were shining bright in the darkness, and he reached up to touch Kili's hair, then his face, then his collarbone. He kissed Kili gently on the side on his face, and then on the lips again.

Kili then slowly stood up, pulling Fili with him. He unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down, kicking them off. Fili's hands touched his torso, his stomach, his back. Taking him in, in the moonlight.

Fili reached and removed his pants too. They stood there naked in the moonlight, just taking each other in. Even in the darkness, Kili could count every single one of Fili's ribs.

He pulled Fili in close, hands brushing lightly over his chest, his stomach, and his back. Kili felt him shaking and took Fili's hands in his.

Kili took a step towards the water, he gave Fili's hand a squeeze.

"Ready?" he asked

Fili nodded and together they jumped into the cool water.

They circled each other in the water, naked bodies fitting perfectly together. Kili tenderly kissed Fili's neck, and he felt Fili's hands as they ran up and down his back. Kili slowly propelled them backwards until he could feel the smooth shore rocks brush up against his legs.

"Do you want to?" Kili asked, not sure if he would be able to control himself any longer.

Fili nodded his head

"Are you sure?"

Fili nodded his head again, and then kissed him gently on the lips. They moved closer to the shore until they were halfway out of the water on the soft lake sand and then Fili flipped over, his bare back shining in the moonlight. Kili entered him slowly, enjoying the warmth as he rocked back and forth with the motion of the waves. Fili's skin felt cool and soft in his hands; he reached down slowly and massaged Fili until he felt him tremble with desire. When Kili came, he cried out into the night and their voiced entangled with each other as they were enraptured with warm pleasure.

They drifted back out to the dock, staring at the stars, enjoying each other's tight embrace. Kili's chest was full of love and passion as he stared at the man floating next to him. Fili's eyes glittered in the moonlight, and he reached and tucked a stray strand of hair from Kili's face.

"I love you" Fili said, his voice a soft whisper in the darkness.

Kili smiled and put his forehead against Fili's, kissing him on the nose and then on the mouth. He pulled away and whispered in his ear, even though he knew he couldn't hear it but he knew he could _feel_ it.

"I love you too."

Fili tightened his embrace around Kili, and Kili knew that this was the happiest moment in his entire life so far.

They floated in the water until the cold drove them out. Kili pulled Fili gently up onto the dock and wrapped him in the blankets he had brought down from the cabin. They laid back and looked up at the stars glittering bright in the mountain sky.

With Fili's warm body next to him, and the stars glistening down on him, Kili fell asleep.

It was the perfect end to a perfect day.

888


End file.
